Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) is something parents often unwittingly put their kids through. They don’t understand what it is, or how crippling the consequences are.
Many parents were emotionally neglected as kids themselves. Which makes it even more of a challenge to emotionally support their little ones.
This piece covers the dangers of emotional neglect in childhood and why emotional support is so crucial early in life.
What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?
Children lack the necessary experience, education, and context to comprehend their feelings. Therefore, it’s imperative a parent is there to support them emotionally. Failure to do this results in emotional neglect.
Parents who neglect their kids emotionally are often inconsistent. They can be cold and distant at times. Often, they fail to validate their child’s experience. Then this can lead the youngster to doubt their own feelings. Or believe an emotionally-weighted situation happened because there is something wrong with them.
If we ignore children when they are in emotional distress, we also are emotionally neglectful. Kids need emotional security, help with identifying their emotions and encouragement from their caregivers.
Childhood Emotional Neglect Looks Like…
An example of neglect, both emotional and physical, is when we leave children alone to fend for themselves for long periods of time.
Another way that we emotionally neglect them is when we shame or invalidate children for the emotion they experience. Ignoring them invalidates them as well.
Setting unrealistically high expectations can erode your child’s emotional security.
Parents often forget the importance of teaching kids about their emotions. Feelings can be quite powerful. Therefore, it’s important that children understand that the ‘big’ emotions aren’t here to stay. Sadness, anger, rejection, the sting eventually fades, then passes altogether.
It’s important that children be taught to identify their emotions. Then they need to be given the tools to process their feelings in an appropriate manner.
Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect
Codependency, low self-esteem, substance use issues, and little to no understanding of self are some of the ways emotional neglect manifests in adulthood. Additionally, anxiety and depression are prevalent.
Without being taught how to properly manage and hold ourselves through the ups and downs in life, many people never learn how to cope. They rely on substances or other people to get through their challenges. Afterward, the end result is they constantly end up feeling as though they’ve been let down because really, it’s up to us to regulate ourselves. No one else can do that for us. Yet those who never learned how continuously seek resources outside of themselves to manage.
If you were emotionally neglected as a child, you could probably benefit from therapy if you haven’t had any yet. Especially if you’re raising kids of your own.
If you’re worried your child may not be getting all their emotional needs met or feel as though they could use some help, please, give us a call.
We work with people of all ages, helping them establish a kind and meaningful relationship with themselves. We believe the foundation of any relationship is based on the relationship and understanding each person has of their own inner workings. If that is fractured, it’s likely other relationships will be as well.
Please, give us a call any time. We’d love to be part of your healing journey.
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