Relationship Therapy Center offers divorce counseling or “Conscious Uncoupling” for divorcing couples in the greater Sacramento area, including Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA
Divorce can be difficult no mater who initiates the break up. It is a very stressful event and can be a challenging transition for all involved. Separation and divorce are traumatic and painful. On the scale of stressful events in a person’s life, divorce is second only to the death of a loved one. In fact, some say death is easier because the choice is made for you.
With Roseville Divorce Counseling, we can help you find healthy ways to cope, allow you to process your feelings, even process whether you two are really finished (also called Discernment Counseling), and take the time to learn what went wrong so that you don’t repeat yourself.
Divorce Counseling is a somewhat new process in mental health because many couples are choosing a process where a spirit of cooperation is emphasized over the blame and angry interactions between the divorcing couple. The goal is towards an amicable divorce, especially with children involved. We might also recommend co-parenting counseling.
These are some common reactions to divorce:
You struggle to accept that your relationship has ended, it feels like an emotional roller coaster
You might feel angry or betrayed because your partner was the one who wanted out
Or you feel bad for your decision, and you feel guilty for the hurt you have caused to the other partner
You feel embarrassed wondering what friends and family are going to think
You feel like a failure because you weren’t able to make the marriage work
You feel afraid to risk loving again for fear of another “failed” relationship
One of you has made the decision to divorce
Whether the decision was made by you or your spouse or you both mutually decided to divorce, there is a lot involved in this process. While lawyers help their clients deal with the legal aspects of divorce and/or separation, they are often unprepared to address the emotional aspects of grieving, co-parenting, and rebuilding one’s life. That’s where Fair Oaks Divorce Counseling comes in. One of our therapists can take you through this process.
I’m not quite sure that I or We have made the decision to divorce
Are you struggling to decide if you should stay or go? Lots of people find it difficult to get clear on how they feel about the relationship. Sometimes people come in with a last ditch effort to do marriage counseling, but soon it becomes clear that one of the partners really wants out and does not want to work on the relationship. It helps to have a Relationship Therapist to help you navigate the times when you feel really unclear. We can help you have difficult conversations and come to some resolution without pushing a relationship counseling agenda. Divorce counseling is recommended when one or both members of the couple are determined to end the relationship. Its purpose is to end the marriage peacefully.
Unfortunately divorce is common. Divorce statistics:
Statistics show that the divorce rate has leveled out over the past few decades. Approximately 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rates are even higher for second (60%) and third (70%) marriages. While these are dismal statistics, they are also an indication that the dissolution of a marriage is common and counseling for divorce is becoming more common. Some even use the term now of “Conscious Uncoupling” as a way to dissolve a marriage in a respectful way that minimizes the damage to all.
Find Hope and Healing in the Heartache
A few of the ways you can benefit from divorce counseling with an experienced therapist:
Work through your emotions about ending the marriage without shaming and blaming each other.
Understanding the predictable stages of the divorce process like when crises are most likely to occur, allows you to maneuver through them more effectively
Learn to say goodbye in a peaceful and productive way while also honoring the time spent together
Strengthen your communication and coping skills.
Learn how to establish rules and healthy boundaries to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Help you as an individual to work through your feelings, grieve the loss, and cope with challenges post-divorce.
Accept the end of your marriage and turn what you think is a failure into an opportunity for personal growth.
Help you understand your part in the negative patterns present in your relationship so you don’t repeat them in future relationships.
As a couple, Roseville divorce counseling can provide a safe and structured way to work through feelings together so they aren’t overflowing as you try to navigate important conversations. Ending your marriage with compassion and understanding can help reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety that divorce often creates.
Divorce counseling can also help your children through the transition. If you can build a solid foundation of cooperative co-parenting, you can spare your children the pain of feeling like they have to choose mom or dad, or the pain of hearing you two fighting and not being able to attend children’s events.
You might have more questions……
Is there a right time to seek divorce counseling?
There is no right or wrong time to seek divorce counseling. You may be in the beginning stages of deciding to divorce, you may be separated or you may already be legally divorced, but still struggling with anger and bitterness, or anywhere in between. The ideal time would be as soon as you start contemplating the thought of divorce. Frequently, couples enter marriage counseling as a last resort and discover that they just cannot find their way to reconciliation. The decision to separate is less difficult when they have the support they need from an experienced therapist.
Isn’t this just going to be adding to our already expensive separation?
Professional counseling fees are much lower than the fees of a divorce attorney. Many of our attorney friends say this as well and will recommend a profession therapist. Counseling does not replace the need for legal assistance, but working together to handle the emotions, compromises and co-parenting discussions can eliminate much of the time spent in attorneys offices thereby reducing legal costs.
Can I come by myself or does my former partner have to attend?
Divorce counseling can either be done individually or with you and your former partner together. Whether you come alone or with your former partner will vary depending on if they are willing to come and if you want them to come. Even if your partner won’t come, getting support is a smart thing to do.