The word narcissist is used to describe pretty much everyone today.
There’s that vapid attention seeker on your social media feed who’s constantly posting pictures of themselves, heavily filtered, let’s be real. You also notice your friend’s ex who jumped into a new relationship, days after dumping them.
But… are those people true narcissists?
Do they meet the clinical definition?
Are we able to diagnose them?
Hardly.
Let’s take a closer look.
What Makes Someone a Person with a Narcissist Personality Disorder?
According to research, only a small fraction of the population, 1 to 2 percent, are true narcissists. This according to the clinical definition outlined in the DSM 5.
As stated in this article by the NIH,
“Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, interpersonal exploitativeness, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood and manifests in a variety of contexts.”
Explained in this NIH article, a clinical diagnosis requires an individual to meet at least 5 of the following:
- Having a grandiose sense of self-importance, exaggerating achievements and talents, expecting to be recognized as superior even without commensurate achievements
- Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, beauty, and idealization
- Belief in being “special” and that they can only be understood by or associated with other high-status people (or institutions)
- Demanding excessive admiration
- Sense of entitlement
- Exploitation behaviors
- Lack of empathy
- Envy towards others or belief that others are envious of them
- Arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes
Most people who meet the diagnostic criteria necessary to be considered a narcissist don’t see themselves as having a problem. Which is often why they never seek treatment.
These people tend to seek therapy only after being given an ultimatum, or required as part of a court order or if a spouse insists.
Many family members can recognize some of these behaviors. Since they tend to have their reality discounted as if they are irrational (otherwise known as gaslighting)
Traits vs Narcissists
As human beings, we all have narcissistic tendencies. Because it’s partially rooted in survival. Since we must look out for ourselves and our own needs or we could easily perish.
Many people are preoccupied with their appearance, or get caught up in visions of success. Likewise, many of us also experience a little twinge of envy when someone does well. You know, that little pang of, “why not me?”
The tricky part about mental health is it exists on a spectrum. In fact, just like we have a little depression or anxiety at times. A small amount of narcissistic-like behavior from time to time is common.
Once it interferes with our day-to-day life then it becomes an issue.
If you worry that you may be a narcissist you are typically not. People with narcissistic personality disorder don’t identify as one, and even if they do, they may not care.
You are not narcissistic when you genuinely care about other people in a non-transactional way. And are strong enough to see your inherent value without needing to be constantly validated and adored.
If you love a little validation or adoration, that doesn’t qualify either. Granted, it just makes you human.
To explain, people are complicated. Our brains and behavior are influenced by so many different things. The only way to measure where we fall on the spectrum is through our behavior. As well as what we report, based on our lived experience.
Then, as is the case with any mental health diagnosis, only a licensed mental health professional is able to make the determination.
If you worry about posting a picture of yourself or sharing your accomplishment, don’t because it’s not.
You have every right to share a picture of yourself or feel proud of your accomplishments.
Therapy in Roseville, CA, Fair Oaks, CA, or Online in California:
If you are ready to change for the better, we can help. Our therapists are ready to support you in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy lifestyle. To begin counseling in Roseville, CA area, or counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- 1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about what therapy would be best for you and to schedule a free consultation.
- 2. Make an appointment with one of our highly trained therapists
- 3. Find support and healing in your life!
Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville, CA and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our services include but are not limited to: Couples counseling, counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.