Relationship Therapy Center offers counseling for co-parenting in the greater Sacramento area, including Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA. Contact us today to start!
Are you divorced and is your ex the last person you want to be in a room with?
Do you wonder how to get along with your ex for the sake of the child?
Do you worry about the impact of divorce on children?
Do you wish you could put your feelings aside and take on somewhat of a “business-like” relationship with you ex?
Do you seem to not agree on how things should be handled including when new partners are involved?
Many Families Face the Struggle of Divorce and Separation.
You Can Learn to Handle This Challenge and Help Your Children Cope.
Call us at 916-426-2757
Co-Parenting After a Divorce Can Be Tough
The goal of co-parenting is to get you as parents on the same page. We need to remember that the children did not ask for this divorce and they need to be able to love both parents. When you can work on your differences - in parenting and conflict resolution - you will learn to put your child's needs first. This isn't about picking sides or working out your agenda, but working through your differences so that it feels as much like a win/win as it can. Although tensions can be high while the divorce is being worked out, your children need to feel like they are being heard, that they can grieve the loss of the family unit while you as the parent might not have the emotional resources or the capacity to do that.
Think about all that needs to be resolved. There are likely different rules and different expectations at each house and the back and forth with having two homes can be challenging for children. They can get through it, and even intact families have differences in parenting. Going through a divorce just makes that harder to negotiate with one another. How are you supposed to do this without damage? Many children, especially teens feel so conflicted about their loyalties and many hear too much adult information along the way. Some parents begin to confide in their children, make them their best friend and even alienate them from the other parent. Wouldn't it be great if there was some common ground on what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior? If you could communicate in a calm and respectful manner? If you both know the right way to go through this for your children? You can with the help of a therapist, a co-parenting plan, and possibly counseling for the children as well.
Co-Parenting Counseling in Roseville Can Help Life After Divorce With Kids
Yes, even if it seems like you can’t even stand each other any more. Having a third party to help you resolve issues, work on compromises, stop the fighting and learning how to put your children ahead of the conflicts can make a real difference to you, your children and any other people that are around you….extended family, potential new partners, etc.
Co-parenting counseling is designed to help separated parents be parents. This isn’t about working on the relationship between you anymore. Instead, we will help each of you figure out how to work together when parenting your children. This is a safe space for you to communicate with each other, and we want both parents to feel able to bring up concerns and ideas to help their children.
During co-parenting classes or counseling sessions, we will address a variety of topics that may be causing you stress. This could be about shared parenting a flexible schedule, negotiating days and times, or ways to be more consistent with rules and discipline. Step-parents and new partners should also agree to uphold the rules and discipline methods that you decide upon in counseling. It’s important that both parents understand that it is detrimental to talk badly about the other in front of the children, but to also let kids be able to express what’s going on for them to each parent. That can be tricky about what to say about the other parent.
With the support of an experienced therapist, you can learn how to navigate this challenging time. You can come to better understand what your children might be going through and how to help them navigate this transition. Though separation and divorce are never easy, counseling can help you transition into co-parenting more effectively.
You may believe that co-parenting counseling can help you create a healthier relationship with your ex, but you might still have questions or concerns…
How would I get my ex to come?
If you are talking now, you might just bring it up in reference to how this will help with the children’s concerns. Stress that this isn’t about rehashing the marriage issues, but on making sure all of the people involved needs are being met. You might want to email or write a letter, but remember to speak directly to the other parent and not go through the children. You can give him/her our information and remind them that we do a free consultation for them to learn more.
I can’t even imagine us talking in a room. Does this always work?
There are no guarantees and it might be uncomfortable at first. But we will provide a safe space to communicate where there won’t be yelling, name calling, inflicting guilt unchecked, etc. The precaution we would agree on is if there has been abuse in the marriage. This indicates that there was a power differential and we would suggest individual counseling in this case.