We all know how incredible it feels to be consumed by desire. Clothing gets ripped off, phones forgotten, and—you know what happens next.
As the years go by, what once felt so powerful and incredible dwindles. It becomes obligatory, routine. And that’s if it even happens at all.
In all honesty, most people experience intimacy dry spells in their marriage. If you find yourself in one or you’re just hoping to crank up the heat a couple notches, here are some of the best ways to reignite passion in your marriage.
Reconnect
Think about your average day. From the moment your alarm goes off, it’s probably go-go-go.
While you may be physically near your spouse for some of the time, each of you are probably preparing for your respective days at your respective jobs, your respective worries and concerns going through each of your minds, keeping you separate, locked in your own world.
Over time, this seemingly inconsequential disconnect can devastate a marriage.
The longer you go without connecting with each other—physically and emotionally—the further you drift apart.
The more disconnected you become, the harder it is to communicate.
The only way to prevent this from happening is to reconnect.
This is a non-negotiable. It can be over dinner, or an evening stroll through the neighborhood. Block out time during the weekend for just the two of you. Do something together that allows you to connect.
Try and avoid activities that aren’t great for conversation, such as going to the movies. Your goal is to be present with one another.
Reestablishing emotional connection makes it easier to connect physically.
Start Slowly
If it’s been a while, the last thing you want to feel is any sort of unnatural pressure. Start slow, and enjoy each other. Create a fun lighthearted atmosphere and include some of those cliché items that have become synonymous with stirring up desire, like strawberries and whipped cream. Take turns massaging each other, or just focus on a 6-second kiss.
The important part here is reestablishing intimate connection, and it doesn’t always have to immediately result in sex.
Share Your Fantasies
What is something that you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t? What outfit would you love to try on, something you know you’ll feel incredibly sexy in?
Sometimes even the simple act of opening up and sharing your fantasies can lead to some incredibly fun and steamy results.
Create a Scenario
Perhaps you get dressed up and reserve a table at one of your favorite restaurants. Then rather than return home, you book a night at one of your favorite hotels instead.
Share a nightcap at the hotel bar, and whisper your fantasies to one another.
Allow tension to build, and revel in that feeling of desire.
Or stay home and play a game—a fun light-hearted game geared towards initiating intimacy.
One of the best ways to rekindle passion is to deviate from the routine.
Make sex and connecting intimately something fun, and don’t be afraid to try different things.
Enjoy Each Other
Make connecting intimately a priority. It’s so easy to let the exhaustion and stress of our day lead to us vegging out in front of the TV, and if you don’t actively create space and an environment to connect sexually, it’s way less likely to happen.
Enjoy each other’s company. Spend a Sunday morning in bed together if you can. Hold hands more often. Let your partner know how incredibly sexy you find them.
The more you connect and trust one another emotionally, the easier it becomes to connect physically.
From trauma to past indiscretions, there are many things that can snuff out the flame of passion. If you need a little help, therapy is an excellent place to start.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’ve helped save countless relationships by untangling some of the barriers that get in the way of intimacy.
Our team of professionals are here for you, and we have two convenient Northern California locations. If you have any questions about what the therapeutic process entails, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Your well-being and your relationship are worth it.
Begin Sex Therapy in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to regain intimacy in your relationship, sex therapy with a couples counselor at The Relationship Therapy Center can help. Our compassionate therapists want to help you and your partner feel comfortable being passionate with each other again. We are here to help support you in your relationship journey. To begin sex therapy at our counseling clinic in the Sacramento, CA area or online, please follow these steps:
- Contact our therapy center to learn more about sex therapy.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman trained sex therapists.
- Find healing in your relationship and regain intimacy with your loved one.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to sex therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.