Therapy for Childhood Emotional Neglect

One of the trickiest aspects of childhood emotional neglect is knowing that you experienced it in the first place. Truly, it’s hard to know that you missed out on something if it was never there to begin with. 

This often leads people to wonder, “What’s the big deal then? If it happened and I’m not aware, it was just how I grew up; how bad can that be?”

Think of it this way: Just like the body requires proper nourishment to function properly, our emotional well-being needs to be nurtured in the same way through care and presence. 

Let’s look at the devastating consequences of childhood emotional neglect. If any of this rings true, we’ll also offer tips and suggestions for healing. 

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?

At its core, childhood emotional neglect means that emotional support, which is a crucial component of a child’s development, is withheld. 

This can look like a lack of validation from a parent or caregiver. It could manifest as them not responding to your needs or just giving off the impression that your emotional well-being is not important. 

Often, emotional neglect is accompanied by a lack of warmth and affection. Your parent may have been overly strict, rigid, and cold.

How Does Childhood Emotional Neglect Affect Development?

When children are deprived of something they need, it stunts their development. Again, think of the nutrition analogy. A child (or anyone) who is deprived of food is going to be skinny and malnourished. They will not function at their full capacity because they are starved of what they need in order to do so. 

Here are some of the harmful consequences of growing up in an emotionally neglectful household:

Trouble identifying your emotions

Children who grew up in a house where feelings were ignored often have a hard time connecting to their emotions. This lack of education on how to properly identify and manage what’s going on inside them can lead to angry outbursts, feelings of detachment, and impulsive behavior—driven by emotion. 

Superficial relationships

Sharing our feelings with others is the perfect fuel for deep, meaningful relationships. These are the relationships where we feel seen and understood. 

Yet children who were not emotionally validated often struggle as adults to emotionally support those they love. They lack the capacity.

Perfectionism and people pleasing

An exhaustive pursuit of perfectionism or consistently overriding your own desires to please others is a common tendency of people who have suffered from childhood emotional neglect. 

Low self-esteem

Children who grow up with a parent who ignores their emotional needs will often form harmful beliefs about themselves and how to function in the world. 

They may believe that there is something wrong with them. They may believe they are somehow unworthy of love. After all, if they were worthy, wouldn’t love and care have been given? 

Overly self-reliant

People who never had support from others growing up tend to be self-sufficient to the degree that they are often lonely and lack communal support. They tend to never ask for help, even when they need it.

Why Did My Parents Emotionally Neglect Me?

Many parents have kids before “doing the work.” Said another way, many children are brought into the world by parents who are emotionally immature or are dealing with their own undiagnosed or untreated mental illness.

Often, caregivers were emotionally neglected themselves and simply perpetuated the cycle.

Why is Healing Emotional Neglect so Important?

People who feel good typically enjoy life more. One of the key drivers behind feeling good is understanding yourself and your emotions. If this is not something you learned how to do, chances are you may have some work ahead of you.

At the Relationship Therapy Center, we know that the most important relationship you’ll have is your relationship to yourself. If that relationship is good, your chances of leading a rich and rewarding life increase exponentially. Please, give us a call anytime to learn more about who we are and how we can help you thrive.  

Begin Individual Therapy in the Sacramento Area

Individual therapy provides many benefits for both your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. From handling challenging life events to learning to live with ongoing mental health issues to simply getting help with everyday stress, seeking counseling can help you live your best life.

If you are ready to start individual therapy, we have a variety of exceptional therapists ready to help you. Take a look at their bios and if you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation give us a call.

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to Individual therapy for adults our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.