No matter who you are or what you have, life requires one thing from all of us: Resilience.

According to the Marriam-Webster dictionary, resilience is defined as, an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

When have you been resilient?

For a quick refresher, think back to 2020 when resilience was required on a global scale.

Resilience is something that all the people you admire have in common, and it’s not limited to just them.

Thus, if you find setbacks, change, and other forces outside your control hard to recover from, take heart. Because you can learn how to be more resilient.

Before we get started, it’s important to note that being resilient doesn’t reduce the pain of losing a loved one. By the same token, it doesn’t wipe away the worry that comes along with a new diagnosis. The sting is still there from tragedy and heartbreak.

What it does is empower you. To clarify, resilience gives you authorization to consciously choose how to move forward. Despite the setbacks, the bad news, the things not going according to plan, you can get through.

Like a muscle, when you practice intentionally throughout your life, you continue to go on and you grow.

Here are some tips that can help you meet some of life’s challenges with resilience.

You are Not Your Thoughts

For better or worse (unfortunately it’s usually the latter) we tend to accept our thoughts as The Truth. Especially when thoughts elicit an emotional reaction, they feel even more powerful and harder to ignore. In like manner, it’s hard not to see thoughts as truth when your feeling’s are there – heavy as a ton of exclamation points – adding emphasis.

Consider this. We come from a long line of negative thinkers.  Even more, evolution demands it. Predators, food scarcity, being ousted from the village… those were all very real threats that had to be in the forefront of our ancestors’ minds. Further, they had to focus on the ‘negative. because their survival depended upon it.

Now, things have changed, but our brains’ still worry and we are stuck with the survival-based negativity.

Thus, we’re stuck when we believe that when we lose a job, someone breaks up with us, or we worry about the future, we’re a failure. Accordingly, rejected and undesirable; basically doomed.

Guess what? None of this is true! None of it is true. 

Nothing and nobody, no single institution or person. determines your worth or value as a human.

Many of these negative thoughts you have picked up from society, a parent or caregiver at a young age. Perhaps you were bullied and you came to believe that you didn’t have worth.

Most importantly, examine the things and behaviors that limit you from expanding yourself and embracing life in the ways you dream.

Failing isn’t a big deal. Many people are so afraid of it because they think it means they are a failure. After all, it’s simply not true.

Review Past Challenges

Take a moment to reflect on other challenges you faced. Ask yourself, how were you able to move past them? What did you learn about yourself in the process? However, try not to dismiss yourself and sell yourself short.

This Too Shall Pass

Negative emotions have a way of getting way too comfortable. At least that’s how it feels. Like they’ve established residency and there’s no way to evict them. Therefore, this is now how it’s going to be.

Again, not true. Most of the time our hard-to-handle feelings and emotions is due to their intensity. But it’s fleeting. Yet, it will pass.

While the pain of loss is never “gotten over,” after time it scootches over to make some room for other feelings and experiences. Yes, even joy.

Seek Support

Nevertheless, it’s important to get support. You want to support yourself by being honest and kind. Don’t dismiss, and again, don’t misinterpret a rejection or failure to mean that YOU are a reject or failure.

For example, when you support yourself you eat well, get enough rest, and find time to move your body.

Additionally, you also support yourself when you ask for support from trusted friends and loved ones. Therapists are also an excellent resource, in a professional way. Want to learn more about how therapy can help? Give us a text or call.

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• Contact the Relationship Therapy Center and schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation to learn more about anxiety treatment,

• Meet with one of our talented therapists

• Begin anxiety treatment and regain control in your life.

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In addition to anxiety therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.

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