Society’s message has always been loud and clear, women should aspire to be married. After years of listening to that, finding yourself single after the age of 50 can feel uncomfortable. Even scary.
But, does it have to?
One of the best things about life is an opportunity to view things from a different perspective. From the benefits (yes, benefits!) of finding yourself single, this piece looks at things to consider when dating after 50.
You Don’t Have to Use a Dating App
If you’re newly single for the first time in a long time, the prospect of a dating app may seem as appealing as slaughtering and butchering a cow.
Some people liken dating apps to a meat market, not for the faint of heart.
Thankfully, there are other ways to meet people that don’t involve apps. There are plenty of volunteer activities, group hikes, or other outdoor-related excursions, you may have a friend with an eligible bachelor coworker… if you’re not comfortable with apps, there’s no need to use them.
If you do want to embark upon the world of online dating, great!
Just remember to employ common sense; don’t land yourself in a dangerous situation. Additionally, there are many scammers who target people who they perceive to be vulnerable and gullible – and yes, they even manage to deploy their scams on dating apps.
Know Yourself
Remember 20 year old you? Chances are, you were quite different…In fact, let’s pause briefly to acknowledge the people who met in their 20s and are still together. It probably took a lot – decades of work – to get here.
You likely know yourself so much better now. You have a ton more life experience to draw from, and those old insecurities that held you back have (for the most part) vanished.
You’re now able to deploy everything you learned to better inform your choice of a partner.
Now you can choose someone who’s present, engaged, and passionate about some of the same things you are.
What could be better?
Feeling Anxious? Approach from a Place of Love
Before you start looking for a partner, take a moment to reflect. Is this something YOU want? If you’re newly single, is it something you’re ready for?
Does the desire for a partner come from a place of love, or is it fear-based; a reaction to thoughts of being alone?
Because honestly, there’s nothing wrong with being alone. Seeking a partner to fill a void is usually a recipe for disaster. That’s when our “picker” panics, and we end up with the wrong person because we’re terrified of being solo.
The more confident, comfortable, caring and compassionate you are with yourself, the more likely you are to find that in a partner. Why? Because you won’t tolerate anything less.
Through being compassionate and caring for yourself, you learn to fulfill needs many people tend to outsource in order to fill. You’re capable of living a joyful and fulfilling life without a partner. So, the person you choose has to be extra special and enhance your life to even be considered as a contender.
First Date Anxiety
It’s normal to feel anxiety or nerves before a first date at any age. Just be yourself, and view it as an opportunity to meet someone new. Don’t become too attached to the outcome.
Viewing life as only having so many years left doesn’t mean you have to settle. Because – as we all know – that usually results in more misery. And honestly, none of us, regardless of our age, know how much time we have here anyway.
Your wonderful qualities aren’t going anywhere, so take your time. Have fun, and don’t abandon yourself or compromise.
If you’re feeling overly anxious or insecure, speaking with a therapist may help. Your therapist will help you get a handle on what you’re feeling so that if and when it’s time to date, you’re ready.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we believe the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. If you’re struggling with any aspect of that, give us a call. We’d love to help you work through this, so you’re free to live life as yourself; unencumbered by anything that’s trying to bring you down.
Begin Relationship Therapy for One with A Therapist in Fair Oaks, CA:
If you are ready to make lasting changes in your life to strengthen your relationships with others, we can help! Our therapists are trained to provide relationship therapy for one for adults living in the Sacramento Area or online in the state of California. You can begin relationship therapy for one in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA by following these easy steps:
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Contact the Relationship Therapy Center to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation and learn more about relationship therapy for one
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Meet with one of our relationship therapists
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Begin relationship therapy for one and work on the skills you need to have meaningful and healthy relationships.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center:
In addition to relationship therapy for one, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.