Being in a trauma-bonded relationship with someone is serious. It’s harmful, dysfunctional, and, just like a drug addiction, will result in you totally losing yourself.
Confusion is the hallmark of being trauma-bonded; confusion and the inability to trust your own judgment are the name of the game. That’s why therapy is so important here.
A therapist will pull back the curtain to help you see what’s actually going on. They’ll help you understand how the mistreatment and gaslighting, coupled with the intermittent reinforcement cycle, keeps you stuck.
What is Counseling for Trauma Bonding?
A trauma bond in a relationship is when one partner, in this case you, forms an unhealthy attachment to someone who subjects you to an intense emotional roller coaster. The cycle typically involves being hurt, manipulated, or emotionally abused. This is followed by an intense rekindling full of apologies and promises that it won’t happen again.
Therapy for trauma bonding unveils the abusive dynamics within the relationship while simultaneously helping you rebuild your relationship with yourself.
Here’s what you can expect from your sessions with a therapist well-versed in helping people navigate this vicious cycle.
Therapy is supportive and non-judgmental
This time is for you. The therapeutic container is a safe space. You don’t have to worry about walking on eggshells because the sessions are confidential. Your therapist will help you see that you matter; your feelings and opinions matter. As you work through the process, you’ll start to feel stronger and see more clearly.
One important thing to note here is that your therapist will not tell you what to do. Rather, they will empower you throughout the healing process and help talk through any confusion that occurs along the way.
Learn to trust yourself and set boundaries
While the focus of the sessions is to help you build self-trust, your therapist will also help you work through past traumas you’ve experienced in the relationship. Additionally, they will teach you techniques you can use that help you “withdraw” from the trauma-bonded cycle.
Often, someone caught up in the trauma-bonded cycle believes they are to blame for the ups and downs. They believe that if they learn how to not upset their spouse, it will be smooth sailing from then on.
Your therapist will help you see that this is not the case. Through addressing codependency and other important nuances that exist in complex relationships, you will learn that someone else’s behavior is not your fault, and nothing you did or could do warrants being jerked around and abused.
That being said, your therapist also understands how intense a trauma-bonded relationship is. They know how challenging it can be when you’ve built a life with this person, and there are a lot of good moments in the relationship.
If you’re caught on a rollercoaster relationship and you’re ready to get off, we can help. We help all sorts of couples navigate all sorts of challenges, and we’re here to help you whenever you’re ready to take the next step. Our therapists understand how scary it is, and are not here to pressure you to do anything you’re not comfortable doing.
Please call or text anytime to learn more about who we are and how we can help.
Begin Individual Therapy in the Sacramento Area
Individual therapy provides many benefits for both your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. From handling challenging life events to learning to live with ongoing mental health issues to simply getting help with everyday stress, seeking counseling can help you live your best life.
If you are ready to start individual therapy, we have a variety of exceptional therapists ready to help you. Take a look at their bios and if you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation give us a call.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to Individual therapy for adults our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville, Davis and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. The individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.
Certified Gottman Therapist
Nancy Ryan, LMFT & Certified Gottman Therapist, is the Founder and Clinical Director of Relationship Therapy Center, with 15+ years of experience supporting clients in Sacramento, Placer, and El Dorado Counties, and with offices in Roseville, CA, and Fair Oaks, CA. Our team also supports clients throughout California, Idaho, and Washington
She specializes in couples counseling, mentoring, and training her therapists on how to be excellent therapists. Nancy is also featured in a variety of media and provides couples therapy weekend workshops and retreats.
Relationship Therapy Center uses evidence-based approaches such as EMDR for trauma, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing to treat individuals. Family therapy focuses on family systems and Play Therapy for children. Evidence-based couples therapy includes using the Gottman Method, Gottman Method Affair recovery/infidelity counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment therapy, and David Schnarch's Crucible Therapy, including differentiation. The whole team is in weekly training on trauma-informed care, somatic techniques, sex therapy, and different topics each year.
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