Is being an adult basically just trying to undo the damage that occurred during childhood—that and a hefty dose of never-ending paperwork?
Maybe.
Childhood is a confusing maze of trying to please adults while also trying to fit in with peers. From an early age, almost everyone is shown an example of who they should be, and a lot of that imprinting happens during our formative years.
The result? A lot of us have grown pretty accustomed to hiding our authentic self, or major parts of it.
Why Authenticity is important in a relationship
Years of pretending to like what other people like. Decades of following trends and spending money on things we’re told will make other people like and respect us can sometimes lead us so far from who we are, that we lose touch with big chunks of our authentic self.
Shame is another huge obstacle to overcome in order to show up authentically. Many people feel as though they aren’t good enough as they are, or there’s something wrong with them.
Yet by never revealing who we are, we never get our deepest needs and desires met. Which for most people is to have someone that loves, supports, and accepts us—exactly as we are.
Here are some reasons why authenticity is so important in a relationship:
Authenticity Creates a Deeper Connection
One of the main pathways toward connecting emotionally is through sharing our inner authentic selves with someone else. Memories, interpretations of events, challenges and more all aid in painting a multi-dimensional picture of who we really are, and feeling seen, heard and validated in that experience.
An emotionally safe place is where those deeper feelings of inadequacy and shame can be unearthed—either with a therapist or with a partner who lovingly holds space for you.
It is incredibly liberating to discover that they really have no bearing on your intrinsic worth as a person, nor do they make you any less worthy of love.
Revealing these parts of ourselves in a loving supportive relationship, and being there as our partner does the same results in an incredibly powerful bond and connection.
Authenticity is the Secret to Communicating Well
Communicating from a deep authentic place means expressing how something made you feel, no rug sweeping necessary.
If something bothers you, you can share it. If something upsets you, you can explain why. Sometimes it’s as simple as “I’m so sorry, I’m exhausted, stressed, and really overwhelmed. I don’t mean to sound irritated with you, it’s just there’s a lot rushing through my mind right now.”
Unfortunately, a lot of arguments and miscommunication stem from one or both parties not fully articulating why they feel the way they do. Either because they’re ashamed, or because they aren’t connected to themselves enough to know.
Authenticity is Ultimate Freedom
Because truly, there’s nothing more freeing than being your true authentic self. Allowing our own inner light to shine bright throughout each stage of our life is one of the best ways of feeling fulfilled. When we know who we are, we are more likely to attract a partner who sees us for who we are. Someone who loves, compliments, and enriches our life by expanding our horizon in realms we would have otherwise never known existed.
Being authentically connected to yourself results in less feelings of shame throughout the aging process—unconditional self-love and acceptance beats any anti-aging product, hands down.
Of course, much of this is easier said than done. The wounds of our past can cut pretty deep, and healing takes time and self-exploration.
For those seeking more meaning and fulfillment—both in their relationship to self and with others—therapy is the best way to achieve that goal.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, one of our primary goals is to help you work through whatever factors that could be causing you to dim your inner light. We offer individual and couples counseling in Roseville and Fair Oaks, and have experience treating Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression. Mental Health is tricky and often comes with a mixed-bag of obstacles. We’re here to help you untangle them so you can step back to who you are. Enjoying life from an authentic place of freedom and ease.
Begin Relationship Therapy for One in Roseville, CA or Fair Oaks, CA:
If you are ready to make lasting changes in your life to strengthen your relationships with others, we can help! Our therapists are trained to provide relationship therapy for one for adults living in the Sacramento Area or online in the state of California. You can begin relationship therapy for one in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA by following these easy steps:
- Contact the Relationship Therapy Center to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation and learn more about relationship therapy for one.
- Meet with one of our relationship therapists.
- Begin relationship therapy for one and work on the skills you need to have meaningful and healthy relationships.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to relationship therapy for one, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.