Co-parenting with an ex can be difficult and complicated. As if it weren’t already challenging and painful enough to go through a divorce or separation, now you have to figure out how to create a brand new relationship together as co-parents. Here at The Relationship Therapy Center, in Fair Oaks and Roseville, CA, we aim to make that transition as smooth as possible for both partners and for your children.
Reasons to go to co-parenting counseling:
For your children. They didn’t ask for their parents to part ways and even with separated parents who get along perfectly, growing up in two households can be difficult on the young ones. To minimize the impact of divorce or separation on your children, it is vital that you and your ex are able to co-parent together successfully.
To navigate what having new partners looks like for your relationship as co-parents and for your children. If one or both of you is dating a lot or meets a new significant other, how are you going to handle that change together, as two people sharing children?
It’s a safe space to bring up any issues, questions, or concerns that could potentially affect your children. These may include how to navigate two different households, pick-ups and drop-offs, and creating consistency in daily routines, expectations, and discipline styles.
Most importantly, co-parenting counseling can help you and your ex transition from having a romantic relationship together to a more business-like relationship that is mature and at the very least civil, if not also friendly. Although you may not want to see your ex now that you’ve broken up, the two of you created children together so unfortunately, you do not have a choice. The most important job the two of you have now is to create a safe space where your children feel loved, safe, and protected, as well as free to fully love both of their parents.
What you will learn together in co-parenting counseling:
Co-parenting counseling is designed to help separated parents parent well together. It’s no secret that co-parenting with an ex presents many challenges, but an essential first step is to resolve differences and conflicts so that your children are not affected. This requires you both to stop fighting and start learning to compromise.
To clarify, co-parenting counseling isn’t marriage counseling and is not a time to rehash your marital issues. Instead, it is a time to learn how to navigate parenting your children together, while apart. It is a place for you to find common ground on parenting issues and to create a co-parenting plan with your ex that will make the experience as smooth as possible for your children. Expect to discuss the rules and expectations at each household and how differences between the two will affect your children.
Although divorce is never easy, co-parenting counseling will allow you and your former spouse the time and space to collaborate together with the best interests of your kids at heart.
Advice from a co-parenting counselor:
Focus on the present and the future, not the past.
Co-parenting counseling is not for you or your former spouse, it is for your children.
Treat co-parenting like a business relationship: be polite and respectful.
Admit to your own past mistakes and accept your ex’s admissions of wrongdoings rather than resenting them for it.
Avoid thinking of yourself as “the good parent” and your ex as “evil” or “bad”.
Be open and honest with the therapist and your former partner.
Understand that your therapist is not there to take sides, but rather to work for the best interests of your children.
Avoid making your child take sides or feel guilty for loving both their parents.
Accept that you chose this person (either directly or indirectly) to be the parent of your children.
Focus on what you can control, which is yourself. If you are struggling with anger, resentment, guilt, or grief, seek individual counseling. Our therapists here at The Relationship Therapy Center are highly trained in one-on-one therapy.
We all have full lifestyles and busy schedules and our therapists understand that it can be difficult for two separated parents to be in the same space together at the same time. That is why at The Relationship Therapy Center we offer online co-parenting counseling for separated spouses who are both located in the state of California. We also offer a free consultation where you can connect with a therapist and learn more about co-parenting counseling.
Contact our office to schedule an appointment and receive help from one of our very skilled co-parenting counselors.
Begin Co-Parenting Counseling in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA:
Co-parenting counseling is a great way to learn how to parent with your ex and prevent issues from arising in the future. Coparenting doesn’t have to be hard and filled with drama. You can learn the skills to parent together by working with a therapist who specializes in this type of relationship. Please contact our Sacramento-based counseling offices to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones heal, grow, and love well.
Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation,
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Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.