If you’re a male who’s skeptical about couples therapy—or more likely, if there’s a male in your life who is—this is a ploy to expose the misconceptions. This list debunks some of the most common excuses men use to avoid couples counseling.
Feel free to share this article with anyone you think could benefit.
“Therapy Is All About Feelings, It’s Not Logical.”
Someone who’s never been to therapy before may have totally outdated ideas of what it entails: Who wants to lie down on a couch and delve deep into their childhood while a total stranger pries and probes, all the while jotting down notes?
The reality is, there are quite a lot of well-researched and effective therapeutic treatment modalities available. And some—like CBT—are very much rooted in logic.
Couples counseling (and therapy in general) is not about making someone totally divert from who they are and what they’re comfortable with. It’s about meeting them where they are, and working with them to soften the hard edges of life in ways that they can relate to, understand, and be.nefit from.
“Our Relationship Issues Are No One Else’s Business”
We’re taught from an early age to not air our proverbial laundry, and it can be pretty uncomfortable to think about sitting with someone and delving deep into the intimate and dysfunctional aspects of life.
It’s important to remember—just like any other part of life—if something isn’t working, rather than suffer, why not fix it? At the core, none of our problems are completely unique. As human beings it’s inevitable that we face certain challenges in certain areas of life.
A therapist has heard it all before. They’re solution oriented. Their goal—again—is to meet you where you are.
You have every right to go at your own pace and build rapport before you decide to trust them and the process.
“Why Pay for Therapy When I Can Talk About Our Problems with Friends and Family for Free?”
Okay, let’s make one thing perfectly clear: Your friends and family are not therapists. And even if they are mental health professionals, treating you as a patient is unethical and frowned upon.
A therapist is a neutral party in someone’s life. The relationship is all about the couple, and while a therapist is solution-oriented, it’s not their role to take sides or insert judgment and opinions.
Unlike friends and family, a therapist has undergone years of training and continued education to help them understand the complexities of the mind and relationships. Sharing parts of our life with friends and family is a wonderful part of being human, however for those who are really suffering and desperately seeking a way through, turning to loved ones for relationship advice is not a good substitute for therapy.
“It’s Our Relationship, It’s Up to Us to Figure Out How to Fix It”
If it was as easy as coming together as a couple to fix a failing relationship, the divorce rates wouldn’t be what they are, would they?
Often, relationship issues stem from poor communication and differences in perspective. A therapist acts as a translator helping couples learn to authentically connect and share their experience.
The intrapersonal skills and insight gleaned through this process are truly invaluable, and can be applied to other relationships and areas of life.
To dismiss something that’s research based and effective simply because of some outdated preconceived notion of what it is, is to do yourself and your relationship a huge disservice.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’ve helped countless couples work through their issues. We’ve seen many men who started off as skeptics completely change their tune when they realize therapy actually works—and isn’t at all woo-woo or touchy-feely.
For anyone curious to learn more, we’d love to hear from you. We offer couples counseling in Fair Oaks and Roseville—two convenient Northern California locations—and are always happy to share more about how we can help.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.