Recovering from narcissistic abuse is complex. There can be multiple layers to the healing process, and a huge part of it involves forgiving yourself and reestablishing trust.
If the narcissistic abuse was endured during childhood, recovery can be even more complex. Especially if the perpetrator was a parent or primary caregiver.
Family members who live with a narcissist can describe their loved one as having controlling behavior, being very critical or superior, feeling entitled, can become enraged when they don’t get their own way, can neglect children and family members for their own gain, and be very manipulative. They might twist the facts, or use your own words against you to make you question your understanding of the situation, otherwise known as gaslighting.
If you are emerging on the other side of narcissistic abuse, here are some important tips that can help you heal.
Acknowledge It’s Not Your Fault
Narcissists have a knack for finding and exploiting genuine kind-hearted people. People who typically put the needs of others before their own.
Being a victim of a narcissist is not your fault.
Your intentions were good, and narcissists have an incredibly manipulative way of making you doubt your reality, or bear an undue burden of blame.
Learning to forgive yourself and rebuild trust is a huge part of healing, and takes time.
Seek Professional Help
Enlisting the guidance and support from a licensed mental health professional is one of the best ways of conducting a post-mortem on the experience.
A therapist can help you process the whole confusing ordeal, and work with you as you rebuild self-trust and self-esteem.
If you want to learn more about how therapy can help, give us a call. We offer therapy in Roseville and Fair Oaks, and have helped countless people free themselves from the grip of narcissistic abuse.
Educate Yourself
Learning more about what you went through and hearing stories of what others endured can help make you feel less alone.
There are support groups and other forums for people who have recently emancipated themselves from narcissistic abuse, and many find hearing from others a helpful adjunct to healing.
It can also lead to a deeper understanding of what you experienced—again reinforcing that it’s not your fault.
Cut Off Contact with the Narcissist
Severing contact with the abuser is the best way to heal.
However, in some cases like when children are involved and you have joint custody with them, it can be a little more challenging.
In cases like these, establish limited contact, and enforce clear boundaries.
A therapist is a huge resource to help you create and stick to boundaries, and help clarify what is and is not acceptable.
Work to Rebuild the Relationship with Yourself
Many people emerge from narcissistic abuse feeling anger and self-hatred; only an idiot would have stayed in such a toxic situation for that long.
As you work to rebuild your relationship with yourself, it’s important to do so with patience and self-compassion.
Narcissists are incredibly manipulative. Many know exactly what they need to do to gain the upper hand and make you doubt your own reality.
Understand that the past is the past, and you never have to experience anything like that again.
Your therapist can help point out red flags so you know what to look out for in the future.
As you begin to regain trust and rebuild your self-esteem, you’ll establish a deeper relationship with yourself in the process.
Healing from narcissistic abuse can be incredibly confusing and takes time. If you find that you are in a relationship like this, you will need professional help. If you want to learn more about the therapeutic process, we’d love to hear from you.
Begin Individual Therapy in Roseville, CA, Fair Oaks, CA, or Online in California:
Individual therapy provides many benefits for both your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. From handling challenging life events to learning to live with ongoing mental health issues to simply getting help with everyday stress, seeking counseling can help you live your best life.
If you are ready to start individual therapy, we have a variety of exceptional therapists ready to help you. Take a look at their bios and if you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation give us a call.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to Individual therapy for adults Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.