How to get over guilt?

Guilt and remorse are two feelings that result in heavy emotional burdens. They show up when you don’t act in a way that is consistent with your values and goals. First, you feel guilty about what you did. Then, comes lingering remorse which can then lead to shame. Things like breaking a promise, procrastinating or saying something hurtful to someone during an argument can lead to feelings of regret.

Guilt and remorse can be positive. These feelings arise from your own rules of moral and acceptable behavior. They help you reflect on your actions and motivate you to make positive changes. However, it is very destructive to carry around these emotions for long periods of time. Holding on to guilt only leads to more of the same.  Guilt is the feeling of doing something bad, but without watching our thoughts can lead to shame, which is feeling bad. It can also affect other areas of your life, including your relationships.

Guilt hammers away at self-esteem and confidence. Constant shame makes it hard to focus and be at your very best. Unfortunately, these two emotions can linger on. The good news is that you can learn to forgive yourself and break the habit of feeling guilt and shame. Here are some approaches that I have found to help clients in my Roseville marriage counseling practice.

Stay In The Present

Don’t make a habit of lingering in the past. You can learn from past mistakes and still move on. If you feel guilty about something that happened, it is okay to reflect on the experience. However, you must also accept that you can’t change the past. You can only change the future and try to keep the same thing from happening again. After that, commit yourself to stay focused on the present moment.

Remember That You Deserve Compassion

It is tough for some people to allow themselves self-compassion. People who have a history of abuse or neglect growing up may have an even harder time with self-compassion as they did not get it from their caretakers. Sometimes, you have to learn how to be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is not the same as arrogance. Compassion involves being kind and gentle towards oneself. When you have self-compassion, you are supportive and understanding. When you are arrogant, you are not necessarily compassionate towards yourself; you believe that you are right. What if you can’t seem to be kind towards yourself? Sometimes, it takes working with a therapist to change your thoughts. A therapist can help you learn to identify when you are unkind towards yourself and to replace those thoughts with gentle, supportive ones.

Recognize That It Could Be More

It is important to recognize when you are feeling guilt and shame. You must also remember that these feelings are counter-productive when they are chronic. If you cannot get rid of the emotions no matter what you try, consider seeing a therapist. Feeling shame and guilt on a regular basis could be an indication of clinical depression. It is essential to figure out if there is something more to these feelings and a therapist can help you do just that. If you think you might be suffering from depression, it is important to see someone who helps.

Begin Individual Therapy in the Sacramento Area

Individual therapy provides many benefits for both your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. From handling challenging life events to learning to live with ongoing mental health issues to simply getting help with everyday stress, seeking counseling can help you live your best life.

If you are ready to start individual therapy, we have a variety of exceptional therapists ready to help you. Take a look at their bios and if you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation give us a call.

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to Individual therapy for adults our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.