Kids don’t have a choice. They can’t simply pack up their belongings and leave a horrible situation. And rather than see the trauma or abuse for what it is, many adjust their inner world to try and explain it away, dismiss it, or make it “ok.”
Studies show that if left unchecked, the effects of a turbulent or trauma riddled upbringing have the capacity to haunt people for the rest of their life.
According to a 2023 UCSF study published in the Journal of Internal Medicine, those who experienced a violent upbringing are 40% more likely to suffer mobility issues later in their life, and 80% felt challenged by activities of day-to-day living.
In addition, kids raised in unhappy homes are 40% more likely to have some type of cognitive impairment.
There are other less visible yet equally challenging wounds from childhood trauma such as self-esteem issues, relationship issues, and problems with self-regulation and self-soothing.
Let’s take a look at how the different types of childhood trauma—from mild to severe—has the capacity to hold us back… if we let it.
The Big Traumatic Event
You may recall in vivid detail a few terrifying events from your childhood that stuck with you. They could involve anger, aggression, and assault.
It could also be your parents telling you they were getting a divorce, and you felt your insides shatter inside your little frame—a pain greater than you ever knew—a pain you became desperate to escape.
These are typically the events that many parents would try to get their kids into therapy for, except 20-years ago, therapy was still regarded with skepticism. (And yes, even today. There are people that would never consider it!) If those were your parents, perhaps you just tried to move on as best you could. Willing yourself to shut out the memory, yet still getting triggered at the slightest thing, or suffering from reoccurring nightmares.
The Less Traumatic Yet Formative Negative Events
Perhaps you were raised by highly critical parents, or were bullied incessantly. Both messages tell a child “I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. In order to be accepted, I have to become someone else, someone better.”
When kids interpret these messages during formative years, it becomes part of their identity—it becomes hard to recognize they feel that way because the wound runs so deep.
This results in behaviors such as people constantly seeking validation from others. Desperate for a pat on the back that reassures them they’re ok, they’re worthy.
Some people may seek ways to impress others through material goods, or other societal versions of status—all at the detriment of true healing, of “actualizing” and enjoying life from a place of authentic intrinsic joy.
The truth is, no one escapes childhood without bumps and bruises. They’re just part of life. And of course, that doesn’t make them okay, but—they also don’t have to stick with you, and determine the joy and satisfaction you experience throughout the rest of your journey.
If you’re wondering if some of the things you went through as a youngster could be impacting you today, therapy can help.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’ve helped countless people lose the shackles of other people’s expectations, shed the burden of trauma, and liberated them from limiting self-beliefs they’d been dragging around (some without fully realizing it!) since childhood.
Our therapists are trained in the leading Trauma treatment modalities: EMDR and Brainspotting. We understand that trauma is complex; there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, which is why we’re committed to you: helping free you from the burden you’ve been carrying.
Begin Trauma Therapy in the Sacramento Area or Online:
Are you ready to find peace and healing after trauma? We are here to support you and provide high-quality evidence-based trauma treatment to people in the Sacramento Area and online for people living in the state of California. To begin trauma therapy in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA, please follow these steps:
- Reach out to our relationship therapy clinic for a free 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about trauma therapy.
- Meet with one of our compassionate trauma therapists.
- Begin trauma treatment and regain control in your life.
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to trauma therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.