Do you have too high expectations of your spouse?

The current divorce rate in the United States is about 40 percent of all people who married 35 years ago, according to the latest statistics.1 So, what contributes to the high divorce rates? Part of the problem is that people have place unfair expectations on their partner, according to Roseville marriage counseling experts. This problem stems from having unrealistic relationship expectations in general.

The majority of the thoughts and feelings that you probably have about relationships likely came from what you have read in books, listened to in music, seen in movies and heard from family and friends. This leads you to develop ideas about fated love and generational tales about soulmates. Most people develop these ideas about relationships reasonably early in life, and they tend to stick around unless you examine them.

Although there is nothing wrong with having high expectations in life, placing unfair expectations on your partner can ruin a good relationship. No person is perfect. All people have strengths and flaws. However, these flaws are glossed over in popular media.

So, how do you know if you are too demanding of your partner? Here are some signs to help you out.

#1 You Become Angry When Your Partner Wants To Spend Time Apart

It is natural and healthy for partners to spend some time apart. If your partner is gone more often than not, then there is a problem. However, you should be able to tolerate spending time alone. If you continuously feel angry, hurt or jealous when your partner wants to spend time apart pursuing their hobbies and interests, then it might helpful to talk with Roseville marriage counseling experts. Therapy can help you deal with things like low-self-esteem or depression that might be affecting your feelings.

#2 You Feel That Your Partner Should Take Care Of You

Every relationship should consist of mutual caring. The key is shared. Both partners should love and care for each other. Do you expect your partner to pay for all of the dates? Do they give up on things that they want to do to please you? If you have answered yes to these questions, then consider thinking about ways that you can take more responsibility for the things that you want.

#3 You Feel Like You Have To Nag Your Partner Constantly

Nagging is problematic in a relationship. With nagging, one partner is acting as an authoritative power over another. It stems from the belief that you can compel your partner to do what you want if you ask enough times. Instead of nagging when you are unhappy with something, negotiate with your partner.

Negotiation involves working together to come up with a solution. Negotiating allows both of you to get your needs met and you will no longer feel that you have to nag to get what you want. So, how do you learn to negotiate in a relationship? Fortunately, this is one skill that is easy to learn in relationship counseling in Sacramento. All that you have to do is look for opportunities to negotiate and practice the skill often.

What if you feel like you are unhappy and not getting your needs met in your relationship?

Marital therapy is an excellent way to help you manage expectations in a relationship. A therapist can help you establish appropriate expectations and understand ways to respond when they are not met.

References:

1. INSIDER

Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
2. Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
3. Find support and healing in your relationship!

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.