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Successful you struggle with relationships. One of the main reasons this occurs is that the skills that drive career success—competitiveness, emotional detachment, and relentless goal-pursuit—can actually damage intimate connections.
Here’s a deeper look at why this happens and what you can do about it.
Why Do My Work Skills Not Translate to My Relationship?
Think about the skills you used to get ahead in your career: Having to dig deep, you used your ambition and competitive spirit to push a little harder. You may have had to hide your emotions. Like when you choked back disappointment on not being selected for the promotion that first time around.
Frequently never taking “No” for an answer. You didn’t get it this time, but that didn’t stop you from trying again.
Now, imagine using those same tactics in a relationship. Competing with your partner, hiding your emotions, and not accepting “no” as an answer… yikes!
Take a moment to think about your most recent failed relationship or the reason your current one is suffering.
Chances are, you could be applying the same brusque approach to your relationship. Being short, demanding and doing your best to mask any vulnerability or “weakness” is a surefire way to drive a wedge in any relationship.
How Can I Plan My Love Life Like My Career?
As a high achiever, you see where you want to go, then map your route. It’s that simple. The workplace makes it easy. Most organizations are willing to promote those who they see go above and beyond and support them on their journey.
Yet this same tactic is not applied to relationships. You may exist “within” the relationship without understanding how to manage the hard parts. Especially, like how to move through unhealthy dynamics and address them at the onset.
This can stem from your partner or even you not knowing yourself well or understanding how when you’re triggered. Instead, you revert to unhealthy patterns from the past.
Maybe you still simply expect your relationship to work out, yet never do the work required to make it happen.
For a relationship to succeed, it requires a collaborative effort from both parties. If you’re in a relationship that is rocky or seems like it may not work out, couples counseling is one of the best ways to dislodge from that unhealthy ground you’re currently stuck on.
You’re single and are wondering why it’s just one failed relationship after the next, individual counseling is an excellent way to gain some insight. Insight into what may be holding you back or preventing you from connecting with others in a deep and meaningful way.
Am I a Workaholic?
Workaholism is a serious issue that some estimate affects 30% of the general population. Usually, there’s a compulsive or psychological component that drives workaholism that goes beyond ambition.
If you spend all your time at work, continuously go above and beyond and are generally preoccupied with work, guess what? You are probably a workaholic, and as a result your relationships will suffer.
How to Start Improving Your Relationships Today
Addressing any issue begins with an awareness of what it is. After identifying how your actions affect your relationship, it’s much easier to change.
Where does your work behavior cross over into your relationship? Notice when you’re being emotionally distant, holding back, or treating your partner as competition rather than a teammate.
Practice vulnerability. Start small. Share a concern or fear with your partner. Remind yourself that vulnerability is not a weakness. True vulnerability requires strength.
Establish clear work-life boundaries and work when it’s time to work. Set aside time to be fully engaged and present in your relationship.
Remember, the skills that lead to your success at work don’t have to sabotage your relationships. With the right approach, you can excel in both areas. If you recognize these patterns in yourself, consider therapy.
The Relationship Therapy Center is here to help you find balance. Our team of professionals can help you build relationships that complement your professional success… because yes. It is possible to have both. If you are a woman and would like a free handout of the 10 Most Often Asked Questions regarding this issue with helpful tips, you can find that here.
Begin Individual Therapy in the Sacramento Area
Individual therapy provides many benefits for both your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. From handling challenging life events to learning to live with ongoing mental health issues. As well as to simply getting help with everyday stress, seeking counseling can help you live your best life.
If you are ready to start individual therapy, we have a variety of exceptional therapists ready to help you. Take a look at their bios and if you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation give us a call.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to Individual therapy for adults our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.