Can you guess the main reason couples who’d benefit from therapy never go?
The answer is, fear.
Fear of being vulnerable, fear of opening up, fear of the unknown, the list goes on and on.
Now, fear is a worthy excuse. However, the cost of skipping therapy due to being afraid usually doesn’t yield the best outcome.
In a survey conducted by Verywell Mind, 99% of the 1,106 American couples who participated in the study stated marriage counseling had a positive impact on their relationship. These statistics are impressive, yet not that surprising.
Couples therapy is powerful, and can revive your relationship. If you’re still a little unsure, here’s what you can expect when you and your partner sign up for relationship advice.
Part One of Couples Counseling: The Initial Assessment
Each couple has a unique history and set of dynamics.
Your first couples therapy session is geared towards relaying your history. Your therapist will want to know what strengths you have as a couple, as well as your weaknesses. They’ll want to know the things you argue about, and the way you argue.
Your therapist may also want to understand who each of you are as individuals and what experiences you had prior to falling in love.
This is important because your life experience informs your perspective and worldview. Often, past trauma or beliefs never get addressed, which may lead to conflict within the relationship.
The therapist is there for the relationship and you don’t have to worry that they are picking sides. The goal is to help you two communicate directly in a way that you both can be heard and understood.
Part Two of Couples Counseling: Establishing Goals
Next, your therapist will want to hear from each of you: where you are currently, and where you want to be.
What do each of you enjoy about the relationship?
Where do you think the struggles stem from, and why?
Perhaps you and your other half agree, financial differences are the biggest point of contention in your union. Or maybe, the issues are small but plenty.
Sometimes, it’s murky. All you know is you argue all the time. Communication is non-existent, and you feel as though you’re stuck.
No matter what your issues are, your therapist will help you get to the bottom of them. Then, they’ll work with both of you to establish goals.
Some common marriage counseling goals are:
- Improving communication
- Resolving recurring arguments
- Increasing intimacy
- Reestablishing a shared vision of the future
- Falling in love again
Sharing your goals provides a concrete and measurable metric you and your partner can strive towards, with the help of your therapist.
What to Expect in Couples Counseling Sessions
There are a variety of therapeutic approaches that your therapist may use. A few examples are:
- Discernment Counseling
- Emotionally Focused Therapy
- Narrative Therapy,
- The Gottman Method (our favorite!)
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we use the Gottman Method as our primary couples counseling technique, mainly because it works. But we also pull in attachment theory, love languages, personality differences and lean on EFT and other proven couples methods.
It’s an evidence-based approach that stems from decades of research. In a nutshell, it helps couples communicate better, improves their affection and intimacy, and is future oriented—setting couples up for success.
The Gottman Method includes practical real-life instruction and tools so when challenges do occur, you’ll have the knowledge and resources to navigate without letting the bumps interfere with the love, care, and respect that exists within your relationship.
(If you’d like to learn more, feel free to contact us any time—we’d love to hear from you!)
Typically in couples counseling, the therapist guides the session. They’ll ask questions and provide a space where you can honestly and authentically share.
This is the part that a lot of people dread, but the aftermath is cathartic—it’s where the healing happens. Vulnerability requires strength, and is one of the best paths to healing.
It’s worth mentioning that though therapy may feel tough at times, a couple’s counselor will never force you to do something that violates your boundaries, or divulge anything you’re uncomfortable with sharing before you’re ready.
Remember, your therapist is a professional. They’re a neutral non-judgmental party who sees all sorts of couples with all sorts of issues. Their job is to take what they’ve learned about human behavior and relationship dynamics, and use it to help guide you and your spouse to a happier, healthier, more loving caring place.
Benefits of Couples Counseling
The biggest benefit of couples counseling is how much your life improves overall.
With a newfound understanding of your spouse, plus the ability to navigate conflict in a healthy way, you have a much stronger emotional connection.
Another benefit that you’ll likely notice is that you develop a deeper understanding of yourself, and how your past may have influenced current relationship dynamics.
All of this insight is incredibly valuable. It propels you towards a more authentic meaningful life, a life where you’re connected to what matters most.
If this sounds good, give us a call. We offer marriage counseling in Fair Oaks and Roseville, and are here to help whenever you need. Most couples wait 6 years before coming and that’s a lot of damage and resentments that can incur in those years. Don’t be the ones to wait.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.