You’ve tried, lord have you tried! The answer is either a hard “no,” or it’s some other vague excuse.
The fact is, women tend to be much more open to the prospect of couples counseling than men. So, what should you do when you know your relationship is becoming stagnant—or worse, it’s in danger of falling apart—yet your other half has no interest in couples counseling?
As we all know, in relationships, compromise is key.
Here are some ideas and resources that may help if your spouse refuses to go to couples’ therapy.
Take a Course
If your other half staunchly refuses therapy, consider a course or workbook specifically created to help couples strengthen their union and rekindle their connection.
For example, the course we’ve created at the Relationship Therapy Center is designed to improve communication, lessen conflict, deepen your connection, and increase intimacy, growth and fulfillment.
Just choose the course that targets the issues you’d like to address, and then work your way through the course together, at your own pace.
For people avoiding therapy, a course is far less daunting. And who knows? Once they discover how much it helps them and improves their life, they may be less hesitant to try therapy.
Be Clear About the Benefits
At the root of it, the point of therapy is to make your life better. Whatever the challenges or obstacles are that people face, therapy can help overcome those.
Often, people refuse therapy because they have some outdated idea of what it actually entails. They don’t want to be “forced” into something they’re uncomfortable with.
Therapy is all about meeting people where they are. There’s no coercion involved. There’s no taking sides in couples therapy. In fact, the goal is to help you both feel heard and understood and to learn tools to do that.
Sharing the benefits of therapy and reminding your other half that they’re involved in the process can sometimes lead to them reconsidering.
If there’s a lot at stake, it’s even more crucial that they reflect on the benefits of working with a couple’s counselor.
Come Up with a Plan Together
Since a relationship involves two people, it’s important that neither person bears the brunt of holding it all together by thems
elves, or are having to make all the sacrifices on behalf of the other.
If your spouse refuses to go to therapy, it’s important that they agree to work with you to try and fix the relationship some other way.
Now, if there’s been infidelity or some other major trauma, working through it together without the support of a therapist is incredibly challenging—sometimes impossible.
However, if the two of you have merely drifted apart yet are both actively engaged in coming together to make it work, the chances of success are much better.
It’s important to come up with a plan together. This can involve carving out time in your schedule to come together and work on communication, intimacy, or just have fun with one another again.
Since compromise is key, you can also agree to try and resolve issues without going to therapy, and if that doesn’t work, then try therapy.
It’s important to remember, therapy exists because it works. It’s backed by research, and has the power to transform your life.
If your spouse refuses therapy, you may benefit from going to therapy on your own. No matter what you decide just remember, the Relationship Therapy Center is here for you. We’re ready to help any time.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones