First comes the frustration: damp towels abandoned on the bedroom carpet. Kitchen cabinet doors left open. The junk drawer expands to a second drawer, then a third.
They go from zero to frustrated faster than a Bugatti reaches top speed. Despite constant reminders, they’re often late and forgetful.
You’ve said, how many times do I have to show you where the laundry basket is? almost as many times as you’ve said, I love you. Because, despite all the frustrations, you do.
What is it like to be married to someone with ADHD? It often feels like you’re the only adult in the house.
The good news is, help is available. Couples therapy is an incredibly effective way to manage ADHD.
First, it’s worth noting the importance of receiving an official diagnosis. About 25% of Americans suspect they have ADHD, yet have not received a diagnosis from a qualified source. A therapist can diagnose and help treat ADHD.
What Does it Feel Like to be Married to Someone with ADHD?
The short answer is that being in a relationship with someone who has ADHD feels chaotic.
If left unchecked, their projects (because there’s always more than one!) will take over the house.
They stay up late.
You feel as though you’re always picking up after them and constantly having to nag them. Half the time, you’re unsure if they’re even listening.
They can be incredibly emotionally reactive. Not being able to find their keys quickly devolves into cursing and angrily upturning drawers. The emotional reactivity hijacks any logic. You always joke that if it weren’t for you, they’d be lost. But honestly, that’s the truth.
When things are good, though, they’re great. Your partner is spontaneous and fun. You feel loved and accepted for who you are. They’re creative and driven. When inspired to cook, they’ll even whip up a delicious feast… using every pot and pan you own.
Why Seek Marriage Counseling for ADHD?
Couples therapy is effective for ADHD. As you’re well aware, ADHD presents particular challenges and communication issues that can quickly erode a marriage. This is where a therapist can really help.
If left unaddressed, the person with ADHD may start to feel misunderstood, disrespected, and as though they’re not good enough or falling short in some way. You may grow to feel frustrated, resentful, and disrespected, and quite frankly, over it.
How Can Couples Therapy Help with ADHD?
First, if your partner is not officially diagnosed, a therapist will be able to ascertain whether they have ADHD or not.
Then, it’s all about management.
Depending on the person and how their symptoms manifest, medication may be helpful. However, there are plenty of other ways to make living with someone with ADHD manageable.
Your therapist will help guide you towards success. They will assist you as you begin to establish roles within the household that align with each of your strengths.
A therapist will help create a strategy to help your spouse better manage their ADHD symptoms. Things like exercise, meditation, and other tools that help focus the mind.
They will provide education around things that exacerbate ADHD symptoms, such as excessive social media consumption or not paying attention to mind and mood.
You will learn how to better support your partner, and they will gain a deeper understanding of how their distractibility affects you.
Once you have a strategy, tools, and other resources, it becomes easier to manage living with someone with ADHD.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’re just a phone call or text away. We love helping couples navigate challenges and providing the tools and knowledge they need to succeed. If this is something you could use, we look forward to hearing from you.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.
Certified Gottman Therapist
Many people suffer unnecessarily from uncertainty, insecurities, and low self-esteem. Also, people struggle in their relationships because they don’t know what they don’t know. Therapy, with the right therapist, can be empowering, transformative and life-changing. Of course, I have loved helping over the last decade by providing personal and relationship therapy to many people.
As my practice grew in the Sacramento area and I had more clients than I could personally see, I began to form a group practice to help clients get the same level of care that I could provide. Now, I mentor and train all of our therapists in the Gottman Method, which is a research based couples therapy method that is proven to work.
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