Life changing decisions are incredibly challenging to make, especially when it affects other people. And of these decisions, deciding whether or not to get a divorce is one of the biggest there is.
For those teetering on the brink, discernment counseling is a form of short-term therapy designed to help couples make their decision after weighing all the options. It’s particularly useful for situations where one half of the couple wants to try and work on the marriage, and the other just wants to get a divorce.
If you find yourself in this predicament, discernment counseling is an excellent way to make an informed decision and not have to live with regret. Here’s what it is, and how it can help.
The Goal of Discernment Counseling
Rather than getting a divorce based on heated emotions or unresolved issues, discernment counseling is an approach that aims to gain clarity about whether or not the marriage is worth saving. The goal here is not to fix the marriage—depending on the outcome of discernment counseling, that may or may not come later.
Here, the focus is to establish clarity around the direction of the marriage itself, then proceed accordingly.
Discernment Counseling Approach
Discernment counseling is meant as a short-term approach. Depending on the situation, it can be completed in 1 to 5 structured sessions.
Because the prospect of getting a divorce is so complex and can involve so many different factors, discernment counseling is an excellent way to approach the topic from a place of logic and reason.
As mentioned earlier, the goal is to shed some light on the best path forward. The therapist works with the couple, helping them explore
all options before they decide if they want to commit to each other and the marriage—and likely couples counseling as well—or if they want to follow through with getting a divorce.
While heavy emotionally riddled topics will be broached, the goal here is not to work through them. That can be done at a later time.
Topics Discernment Counseling May Cover
During these short structured sessions, the couple will recap the history of their relationship. Reflecting on struggles they’ve already endured and both the positive and negative impact it’s had on the relationship.
The therapist will invite the couple to reflect on both their own and their partner’s point of view, and explore alternative changes or compromises the couple may be willing to make.
If the couple has children, additional consideration may be made on their behalf.
Again, the goal throughout these sessions is not to save the marriage, it’s to determine if the marriage is worth saving.
The therapist provides the structure, yet remains neutral throughout the process. This decision to stay together or get a divorce is a decision the couple reaches themselves without any influence from the therapist.
If you are teetering on the brink of divorce, discernment counseling may be just what you need to make an informed decision. We have two convenient locations in Fair Oaks and Roseville, and offer discernment counseling and much, much more. Give us a call to learn more about how we can help.
Begin Divorce Counseling or Discernment Counseling in the Sacramento Area or via Online Therapy in California:
For most, divorce is a major life transition and a huge loss. Either individually or together, we can help you walk through your difficult conversations as you separate. Let’s help you have a divorce with dignity and respect. To begin divorce counseling in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA, please follow these steps:
- Contact the Relationship Therapy Center This link will allow you to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about discernment or divorce counseling.
- Meet with one of our compassionate marriage and family therapists.
- Begin divorce counseling and learn how to separate in a respectful and thoughtful way.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to divorce counseling and discernment counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.