What are the Toughest Years of Marriage?

The tricky thing about life is it’s hard to arm yourself with the knowledge you need to survive unforeseen circumstances. The future is distant, and things are going really well, so why bother? 

One of the many perks of life is, resources exist to provide you with the knowledge you need to arm yourself against unforeseen circumstances. Sure, the work can be hard at times but it’s worth it.  

Whether you’re a newlywed still riding high on honeymoon magic, or you’re experiencing big life changes where things start to become rocky. These are the toughest years of marriage, and what you can do to come out strong.

Set Your Marriage Up for Success with Premarital Counseling

In a nutshell, couples counseling before marriage equips you with the necessary tools for marital success. Your therapist will help ensure the two of you are on the same page, or at least understand and respect each other’s pages. They will help you learn how to effectively communicate and prepare you for some of the realities and life events that lie ahead. 

Often, this can be achieved in a few sessions. These sessions are worth every penny. They are what will help save you from the perils of arguments that go nowhere. They will save you from resentment, drifting apart, and other rifts that choke out the goodness that once existed in the relationship. 

Here at the Relationship Therapy Center, we are huge proponents of going into a situation armed with as much knowledge as possible. Just like certain vocations require a higher education (you’d never let just anyone perform surgery on you or allow your child to drive a car without understanding how to operate a vehicle!), the same goes for marriage. Couples who understand what they’re in for and are well-equipped to navigate the challenges are the couples who live happily ever after.

What are the Most Challenging Years of Marriage?

While each couple is different, there are trends and circumstances that take a toll on a marriage. These are the toughest years of marriage, including the factors that make them such a challenge.

Years One and Two

The first years of marriage can be tumultuous because that’s when the honeymoon period begins to fade. Real life, including incompatibilities, takes center stage. For some, the adjustment period is too much. 

Couples who got married because they felt so in love realize they have different ideas for the future. Their communication styles differ, and each feels lost and unheard. 

Frequently, these are the couples who got swept up in the idea of romance and didn’t spend time discussing the practicalities. These are the couples who neglected to discuss the weighty topics, and soon realize they have nothing in common. 

The best defense you have against this happening to you is to ensure that when it comes to the big things, you’re on the same page. Effective communication and the ability to convey your feelings, while providing space for your other half to do the same, is also paramount. 

Years Five to Eight

These years can be especially challenging due to raising children, shifting roles within the household, and external pressures such as financial worries. 

Often, this is when a less pervasive yet equally destructive force takes hold, and couples drift apart.

To survive these years, communication, again, is key. It’s imperative that you prioritize the relationship and work as a team. If you feel as though you’re struggling, be sure to sign up for couples counseling right away.

Years Ten to Thirteen

These are the years when unmet needs or expectations begin to add up. Sometimes, people seek to remedy this by sourcing validation from outside the marriage.

If you and your spouse continue to prioritize the relationship and each other, it will strengthen your bond. 

The bottom line here is know what you’re getting into and don’t wait too long to get help. 

If the relationship is floundering, do something; the Relationship Therapy Center can help. Call or text anytime to learn more. 

Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
2. Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
3. Find support and healing in your relationship!

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.