Remember that first year together? It was all so effortless. You could literally be doing nothing, yet simply because the two of you were together, you were having the best time in the world.
As anyone who’s been in a long term relationship knows, that passion and ease felt during the early stages doesn’t last forever.
Real life sets in, and when that occurs you either have to put effort into the relationship—work to stoke that flame and keep it burning bright—or allow it to slowly and painfully fizzle out.
When you think about your relationship, where are you on that spectrum? Is your relationship continuously growing, or are you two slowly drifting apart?
Since New Year’s is all about reflection and resolutions, let’s take stock of your relationship—and if you realize you may be headed for trouble, don’t worry. We can help.
Evaluate Your Relationship
This can actually be quite a challenging exercise because sometimes, people aren’t completely honest with themselves. If the relationship has been so-so for years, it’s easy to become comfortable existing together, going through the motions at home—the same routine—and relying on coworkers or friends for connection and support.
When there are kids involved, most people use that as an excuse to remain in the situation they’re in, not doing anything to affect change.
Think about your relationship, and be as honest as you can.
What is working, and what is not?
How is your communication? How is your intimacy? Was your other half there for you during a recent painful loss, or were you leaning heavily on friends, instead?
Do you sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with someone else?
If you had to grade your relationship with a percentage, is it 85% or above? Are you satisfied with the percentage you give it, or would you rather it was higher?
Ask your partner to evaluate the relationship; how do they feel it’s going?
The better your communication and the more connected you are, the easier this process is.
Establish Relationship Goals
Some couples are able to create a list of relationship goals easily, and if that’s you, embrace this opportunity.
It’s incredible to be in a partnership where you’re able to discuss the health of your relationship openly and honestly, and it doesn’t lead to arguments or blame.
If you’re in a relationship where coming up with goals together is a challenge—perhaps there are unhealthy dynamics, communication issues, unresolved issues, or you’ve both just checked out—it’s imperative you seek help.
Couples counseling is your solution to saving the relationship. It provides you with powerful communication tools, and guides each of you towards a clearer understanding of yourself and one another.
It’s really helpful to have relationship goals outlined when starting your couples counseling sessions, as it offers a path to work towards.
Hesitation About Counseling
Many are hesitant about the prospect of couples counseling for a very simple reason: Most people are afraid of the unknown.
Men especially may balk. Many were raised with the belief that discussing feelings is something only women do, or they think therapy just involves a lot of touchy-feely nonsense.
Some cling to the notion that their business is their business, and it’s not to be shared with others. Others worry they’ll be forced to become vulnerable before they’re ready.
Here’s the truth: Couples counseling is the number one way to save your relationship. A therapist cannot and will not force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. Your therapist understands the skepticism, and will do their best to make you feel comfortable throughout the process.
Your relationship is a huge part of your life and if it’s declining, that has a negative impact on your overall well being.
If you neglect it, it will only get worse.
The Relationship Therapy Center
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we specialize in relationships. We offer couples counseling in Fair Oaks and Roseville, California, and have witnessed firsthand how transformative the process is.
If you have any questions, please, reach out. Our therapists are trained in the Gottman method which was founded on decades of research, and has the best outcomes. The process exists to help you, and if your relationship is in trouble there’s no need to continue that downward trajectory. We’re here for you, just give us a call.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.