You said ‘I do,’ but now there’s something you don’t do, and that’s to have sex. Or maybe, you feel the spark fizzling out, and want to do something before it’s extinguished entirely.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Let’s look at some of the reasons that lead to a sexless marriage, and what you can do about it.
What is a Sexless Marriage?
A sexless marriage is generally defined as having sex ten or fewer times per year. There are a multitude of reasons why this happens. They can be big reasons such as infidelity, or less dramatic yet equally pervasive reasons, such as being extremely busy and just…. tired.
Certain stages of life can contain dry spells. There are hormonal changes, aging, surgery, or even resentment and anger from unresolved issues.
What’s the Problem with a Sexless Marriage?
Some couples are okay with a sexless marriage, yet, if you peer a little closer, you may find they are still intimate, just in other ways. If both people are on the same page here and their emotional connection is thriving, then really, there’s no direct cause for concern.
The problem arises when one person is okay with a sexless marriage, and the other is not. Or, when the disinterest lies not in sex itself, but in sex with each other.
What Does a Sexless Marriage Indicate About Your Relationship?
Generally speaking, being intimate with your spouse is indicative of a healthy marriage. When the sex becomes less frequent, emotional connection and intimacy can follow.
Given the multitude of reasons that can result in less frequent sex, you may want to consider what you believe is causing your sex life to suffer. Yet whatever the reason, it’s important to understand that a lack of intimacy indicates it is time to focus on each other.
How Do You Fix a Sexless Marriage?
The short answer? Have more sex. Usually though, it’s not that easy. The lack of sex can mean a lot of things, and the best way to remedy the situation is through couples counseling. Your therapist will be able to eradicate some of the biggest reasons resulting in lack of intimacy, and help you restore your connection.
Along with therapy, here are some tips that can help:
Talk about it. Be open with your partner and explore why you think you’re not being intimate with one another, and what you can do to fix it.
Focus on other types of intimacy. Hold one another, massage one another. Remove the pressure of having sex and strive for closeness instead.
Spend quality time together. This is something that seems so simple, yet almost all couples could benefit from more of it. Quality time is anything that allows the two of you to be present with one another, sans phones, TV, or other distractions.
For many couples a sexless marriage indicates the relationship needs some TLC. Don’t take your relationship for granted, and don’t wait until it’s too late. The sooner you get help and address the situation, the easier it will be.
Begin Sex Therapy in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to regain intimacy in your relationship, sex therapy with a couples counselor at The Relationship Therapy Center can help. Our compassionate therapists want to help you and your partner feel comfortable being passionate with each other again. We are here to help support you in your relationship journey. To begin sex therapy at our counseling clinic in the Sacramento, CA area or online, please follow these steps:
- Contact our therapy center to learn more about sex therapy.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman trained sex therapists.
- Find healing in your relationship and regain intimacy with your loved one.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to sex therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.