If only people knew: the secret to mastering a lasting and fulfilling relationship is a lot easier than many are led to believe.
The key lies in prioritizing the relationship. In order to keep it alive, it needs to be tended to with small gestures often.
For anyone looking to tune up their relationship, here’s what you need to do.
Master Effective Communication & Conflict Resolution
It’s worth noting that many relationships end because rather than seek help when problems first arise, many couples let the dysfunctional behavior continue to play out. Then, when it’s almost too much to bear, that’s when they decide to go to counseling. Yet often by that point, the relationship is damaged beyond repair.
One of the biggest areas where couples struggle is effective communication and conflict resolution. Each person may unwittingly be playing out unresolved issues from their past, or reenacting the misguided patterns they learned when they were young.
Mastering effective communication and conflict resolution—without poisoning the relationship in the process—is an incredibly important skill for everyone to learn.
Prioritize Quality Time Together
Life is hectic. There’s the long exhausting work week, kids, and laundry piled so high it’s spilling out of the basket. You want to spend time with your partner, but you’re so worn out you grab the remote and plop down on the couch instead.
If you don’t prioritize quality time together, it’s unlikely that it will occur.
Thus, it’s imperative to schedule it in. Order takeout, and enjoy a candlelit meal at home. Or take a 30-minute walk together after dinner, and talk about your day. The more you nurture your relationship, the better it becomes.
Show Affection
Being affectionate with one another through frequent touch, closeness and intimacy is an important aspect of maintaining that feeling of closeness. Affection reinforces your bond. When it begins to wane, it’s often an indication that the relationship needs some attention—and the longer it goes without, the harder it becomes to revive the relationship.
Don’t lose that playfulness that may have been prevalent early on in your relationship. And every time you leave, be sure to part only after a six second kiss.
Try New Things Together
The world is full of incredible places and things to explore, and best of all, there’s something for everyone.
What is something you’ve always wanted to try?
How about your partner?
Having new experiences together keeps your bond strong. It provides memories, gives you more to talk about, and allows you to learn and grow together.
Be Respectful
Respect is a foundational pillar in any relationship. Treat your other half with respect: consult them before making any big decisions.
Take their feelings and opinions into account.
Be Supportive
If your partner has had a rough day, listen to them. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Often, just knowing that you’re there and you care and will help in any way you can is enough.
If they’re nervous about an interview for a possible promotion, offer to help them practice. Reassure them that they have all the necessary qualities, and that no matter what the outcome is, it won’t affect how much you love them.
Share Common Goals for the Future
People change, which isn’t a bad thing. However, change can have negative consequences on a relationship—especially when the couple is disconnected and one half of the relationship grows without the other.
While it’s perfectly normal and quite healthy to pursue individual hobbies and passions, just make sure that the two of you have a shared goal and vision for the future. Something you both aspire to and are excited about.
Plan something fun to work towards and look forward to each year, something that the two of you get to experience together.
Life is an adventure, and being able to share it with someone who is excited about the same things as you are can help maintain a powerful bond.
Prioritize Your Relationship
Less than half of couples in the USA have regular date nights, and studies show that couples who make time for one another have better relationships overall.
It’s simple really, things people prioritize tend to flourish, and things they neglect tend to wither and die.
If you feel as though your relationship needs help, give us a call. We’re here to help reignite that spark and help you achieve the relationship of your dreams.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.