Opposites really do attract, and when introverts and extroverts form a relationship, these differences can become glaringly apparent.
But, not to worry. With a little communication and compromise, this union can be as harmonious as yin and yang, balancing each end of the spectrum beautifully.
Understanding the Differences
Setting the foundation for introverts and extroverts to thrive in a relationship begins with each of them sharing their respective experience.
Introverts may leave their extroverted other half speechless as they share how exhausting social interaction can be, especially with large groups of unfamiliar people.
How awkward they feel; how “bad” they are at small talk. How shopping malls can leave them dizzy, even nauseous.
Extroverts may make their introverted partners squirm as they divulge how energized they feel when they’re around others. How they love meeting new people, and feel incredibly uplifted by tapping into the energy of large groups.
It’s important to note that some people are what’s considered to be ambiverts, which means they possess both introverted and extroverted qualities. Ambiverts will likely be “dominant” in either introversion or extraversion.
Making it Work
On paper, it may appear like introverts and extroverts socialization and energy-generating preferences are so drastically different, that there’s no way they could work as a couple. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Here are some impactful tips on how to get the most out of being part of an introvert extrovert love mix.
Following these will help meet both of your needs:
Clearly Communicate Your Needs
It’s important for both people in the relationship to outline how introversion and extroversion manifest for them, and take the specifics of that into account when communicating their respective needs.
For example, an introvert may only be able to handle 3 hours of socializing before needing a break, while an extrovert may require at least one night out a week, or some other form of weekly group interaction.
It’s important for each to understand the needs of the other, and also to balance that with the realities of daily life: A hectic work day may totally wipe out an introvert.
Plan a Mix of Activities
Ideally, a healthy balance includes doing activities each other enjoys, and an activity they both enjoy. Perhaps something that involves opportunities for both to get their needs met.
Establish a “Safe” Word
The introvert may feel more comfortable going out and socializing knowing that if they feel overwhelmed, all they have to do is utter a predetermined word, and their other half will know they’ve reached their max.
Using a code word can make it less awkward and obvious for the introvert to communicate when they’re ready to go.
Lean on Each Other’s Strengths
Introverts can let their extroverted other half take the lead during small talk at the grocery checkout, or handle other social interactions. The extrovert benefits by engaging in the exchange, and the introvert benefits because they aren’t “forced” to interact.
Respect Boundaries
It’s important that both understand how each other functions best in the world, and what they require in order to do so.
By communicating with one another and sharing and respecting each other’s boundaries, they’re able to enjoy a wonderful union. One that lets both of them be who they are while also inviting growth through new experiences they may have otherwise missed out on.
For those who are part of an introvert/extravert union and are finding it challenging, seeing a therapist is an excellent resource. A therapist will examine the relationship dynamics, pinpoint the issues, and help create a clear path forward.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’ve helped countless couples navigate all sorts of challenges. We offer couples counseling at two convenient locations, Roseville and Fair Oaks. We even have weekend options to accommodate busy schedules. Give us a call to learn more about who we are and what we can do for you.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.