Sometimes family life feels like sheer survival mode: You’re exhausted, barely hanging on as you try to keep everyone alive so they can show up for that seemingly never-ending list of obligations.
Day after day, commitment after commitment.
To make it even more challenging, one of your kids is struggling and you’re not sure what to do.
Instead, you catch yourself fantasizing of going somewhere quiet for a week—without kids—and… sleeping. Imagine, never changing out of high waisted PJ’s or even putting on a bra!
If you feel like you’re white-knuckling family life, this is a good indication it could use some readjusting.
These tips will help you catch your breath, and provide some much-needed peace.
What’s Your Biggest Stressor?
When it feels like you’re being crushed under the exhausting weight of worry and obligation, it can be challenging to pinpoint the main cause of your stress. Or maybe the opposite is true: there’s a huge easily identifiable stressor ruling your life.
Whatever your particular situation is, you want to call out whatever it is that’s causing the most stress, and figure out what you can do about it.
If your kids are facing challenges, what are the challenges, and how can they be addressed? Is it something that just requires an adjustment in routine, or is it something that a tutor or even a therapist could help with?
Are you thrusting a ton of expectations on your children’s shoulders which is causing them to be stressed as well?
Be honest here. Connect with the rest of your family to see how they feel, and try to come up with a solution to help address the situation that’s causing the most stress.
What Can You Let Go Of?
Accumulation is natural. As humans we tend to accumulate responsibilities as well as material objects. These responsibilities can be both expectations that others have for us, and expectations we have for ourselves.
The reality is, there’s just enough time in the day for everything, and we all reach a point where something has to give.
The kicker is identifying this, and making the necessary adjustments before our health starts to decline. We all know sleep and getting proper nourishment and exercise is vital to sustaining energy and health, yet these are the first things that slip when people get so busy, they struggle to even catch their breath.
It’s so easy to get caught up in worrying that if your kids aren’t participating in all the things they’ll somehow fall behind, when realistically, this isn’t the case.
What can you let go of?
Audit your family schedule and see what you can eliminate. Then when you’ve identified what that is, don’t rush to pick up something else to fill its place. Let yourself breathe; you all deserve rest.
Who Can Help?
Can you arrange a carpool for school drop off and pickup?
Maybe adjust chores so your 17-year-old cooks dinner twice a week and your 14-year-old washes up?
What responsibility can you delegate to someone else?
What resources exist that can help address your challenge? For example, post covid you can order groceries online and have them delivered—saving you valuable time.
If your family dynamic feels incredibly chaotic—your relationship is on the brink and one child is becoming withdrawn and the other is getting in trouble at school—it’s crucial you address this, and therapy is your best resource.
Don’t let your wellbeing or your family’s wellbeing suffer by trying to “will” or “force” your way through. This never works, and the consequences can be dire.
When Can You Rest?
Life ebbs and flows. Sometimes everything seems to hit the fan all at once, yet you know in two months’ time the stressor will be over, and calmer seas exist over the horizon.
If you’re facing a particular rough or challenging time, don’t try to do everything. Prioritize sleep. Do what you can to make it through the moment, knowing that you’ll have more time to rest or attend to less important obligations soon.
Therapy is an incredible resource that can help smooth all the rough edges of family life.
There’s nothing simple about being a parent or a spouse, and each family has their own unique dynamics and set of challenges.
At Relationship Therapy we understand this, and have helped families get through all sorts of challenges. We see kids and teens, couples, individuals, and even whole families. If you or someone in your family is struggling, we can help. Just give us a call, we’re always happy to share more about who we are and what we can offer you and your family.
Begin Family Therapy in the Sacramento Area and Online in California
Your family deserves to find peace and healing. Our family therapists can help. Ultimately, we want to strengthen the relationships you have with each other and restore love and harmony in your family. To begin counseling at our Roseville or Fair Oaks counseling center or online in the state of California please follow these simple steps:
- Contact our office to get more information about family counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our caring therapists.
- Discuss your family’s unique needs and goals with your therapist.
- Develop a customized treatment plan tailored to your family.
- Engage in regular sessions to build stronger, healthier relationships.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to family therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.