What Causes Teen Self-Esteem Issues?

Despite being tone deaf, she was the kid at the elementary school Christmas concert who belted out ‘Silent Night’ with all the confidence in the world.

She was the kid who tore around the playground, head high and shoulders back. She wasn’t the fastest or the most agile, but it didn’t matter. She was having fun.

Now? Her shoulders slouch. She’s painfully self-critical. She’s become hyper-focused on appearance and weight. 

Of course, this affects you. Watching your child struggle is one of the most painful things a parent can endure. 

Luckily, when it comes to self-confidence snags and other stressors in teens, there are ways you can help. Here are some of the common culprits that lurk behind self-esteem issues in teens, and some tips to help them navigate.

Social Media

Social media is like a sword that jabs at self-esteem. No matter what your teen’s particular insecurity is, they will find a way to exacerbate it with social media.

As you know, much of what people post on those sites is fake. From filters to makeup and ideal lighting, most people show their good side online. They do whatever they can to make reality appear better. 

Add cyberbullying to the mix, a quest for validation through “likes,” and comparing their social engagement to that of their friends. All of this can have a significant impact on your teen’s self-esteem and exacerbate stress and anxiety.

Here’s how to help. If your teen seems like they could be adversely affected by social media, it’s crucial that they are given guidelines for proper use. 

Encourage your teen to utilize their critical thinking skills when viewing posts. Help them spot filters and edited images. Reinforce the notion that the beauty in life lies in imperfections and quirks, to which no one is immune.

Pressure

From peer pressure and unrealistic beauty standards to sports performance and academic success. Pressure to achieve and the accompanying worthlessness of not measuring up can erode self-esteem.

Now, this does not mean that teens should not be challenged. As a parent, there’s nothing wrong with having expectations. The danger occurs when your child believes they are only worthy of love if they are successful.

Here’s how to prevent that from occurring. Take stock of how you reinforce good behavior; it’s crucial you’re not sending the message that they are worthy of love only if they succeed. 

The sooner your child realizes that a missed goal or getting a B instead of an A has no bearing on how much you love them or their self-worth, the better. 

Adverse Childhood Experiences

A child who has endured trauma or other adverse experiences is more likely to have a low concept of self-worth. They are often tense and stressed and carry the belief that they are flawed, bad, or damaged. In cases like these, the best thing you can do to help is to get your child into therapy.

A therapist will help them detangle the harmful beliefs they adopted as a result of the trauma, and separate the incident from their identity and inherent worthiness.

When it comes to self-confidence and self-esteem, it’s totally normal to feel a little deflated and insecure from time to time. The best thing you can teach your teen is that nobody is perfect. Everybody has their “thing.” But the quirks and imperfections aren’t anything to be ashamed about; they’re a big part of what it is to be human. 

Accomplishments and success are wonderful, but often failure teaches the most valuable lessons. The sooner your child realizes that, despite the sting, failure and rejection have no bearing on their inherent worthiness. 

When teens don’t learn this, they will often carry the insecurity into adulthood and live marginalized lives directed by their insecurity.

The teenage years are notorious for feeling intense. If your teen is consumed with self-esteem issues, depression, anxiety, or anything else, give us a call. 

We offer therapy for stressed teens, depressed teens, and teens who are generally struggling. We teach them coping skills, provide valuable insight, and help them better understand themselves and their place in this world. Give us a call today to learn more.

Begin Teen Therapy in the Sacramento Area:

If you’ve been concerned about your child’s mental health and behavior, then getting help from a compassionate teen therapist may be the support you’ve been looking for. We will be an ally for your teen and help them navigate the challenges of adolescence. To begin counseling in Fair Oaks, CA, Roseville, CA or online, follow these steps

1. Contact the Relationship Therapy Center and schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about in-person or online teen therapy.
2. Make an appointment for your teen to meet with one of our compassionate teen therapists.
3. Get the support your teen needs to navigate adolescent challenges with confidence!

Remember, seeking therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. By taking this step, you’re providing your teen with valuable tools and support to navigate the challenges of adolescence and build a strong foundation for their future mental health and well-being.

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to teen therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.