Go ahead, give your sex life and intimacy with your partner a letter grade.
Got it? Ok. For those who rated their sex life below an A or 90%, pay attention, these tips are for you. We’re delving into the factors that lead to a subpar sex life. From managing insecurities about sex to healing and connecting, here are the secrets to help reignite that spark.
How Common is a Sexless Marriage?
A sexless marriage is commonly defined as having sex 10 or fewer times per year.
Between 15 to 20 percent of couples exist in this state. A sexless marriage can stem from:
Living separate lives- Not prioritizing the relationship
- Insecurities about sex
- Concerns about changing physical appearance
- Becoming comfortable living like roommates instead of lovers
- Drifting apart
- Health issues
Now, a sexless marriage doesn’t automatically equate to a bad marriage. It does however indicate there is something going on.
Why is Sex so Important?
Being physically intimate helps reinforce the bond you have with your other half. It keeps the two of you connected. Sex is also a wonderful way to establish a positive relationship with your own body; something that many people struggle with.
Sex improves wellbeing as well: Can sex relieve stress and anxiety? Yes! One hundred percent.
If sex is so great then, why do so many couples struggle to maintain their sex life?
Here are the most common reasons why, and if you’re struggling in this department, how you can fix it.
How Can I Improve My Sex Life?
Discover the big secret to improve your sex life. Rather than just lament about it, get curious about what the specific issue or issues are and ask, why?
Do you feel distant from your partner to the point where intimacy almost feels awkward?
Are you at a loss as to what to do when your partner rejects you sexually?
Is anxiety getting in the way?
Perhaps you want to learn how to not be nervous before sex.
Dig deep; get introspective.
The barriers impacting your sex life may stem from traumatic childhood experiences or past relationships. Or maybe, you come to realize you’re just too busy and are not prioritizing the relationship.
For those still murky about what the issues are or you find that you’re experiencing anxiety attacks during sex, see a therapist. An anxiety attack during sex may mean there are other issues at play, and a professional can help you get to the bottom of it.
It’s important to discuss this with a partner, they can have the same hindrances. Ask them what they think is impacting your sex life.
If you feel like you can’t talk about this with your partner, this is another indication you could benefit from couples counseling.
Clear, open and honest communication is not only crucial in a healthy relationship, it paves the way to a steamy sex life. If this is something that’s lacking, give us a call. We’re here to help you get all aspects of your life, including your sex life, back on track.
What are Some Simple Marriage Intimacy Exercises?
After you have zeroed in on what’s impacting your sex life and discussed it with your other half, your next step is to address the issues.
If therapy is indicated, find a therapist, or sign up for a reputable course.
Make it a point to reconnect. Start slow, if necessary.
Give each other a massage. Feel free to reacquaint yourselves with each other without the pressure of having sex.
Create a list of physical intimacy ideas based on what turns you on. Often, sharing what gets you aroused is enough to heat things up.
Browse online stores for sexy garments together.
Book a kid-free night at a local hotel and bring something slinky to slip into and some juicy strawberries to share.
Play a game that invites physical connection, flirt with one another and have fun.
Most couples sex lives fizzle out as the pressures of everyday mount, don’t let this be you! Be proactive about preserving your intimate connection.
If there are deeper issues that impact intimacy, help is available. No matter what you’ve experienced, it is possible to reclaim your sexuality.
Give us a call or text anytime to learn more.
Nancy Ryan, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified Gottman Method Therapist has over 12 years of experience working with couples. She now is CEO of The Relationship Therapy Center in the Sacramento, California area including Roseville, CA and Fair Oaks, CA. and online in the state of California. Nancy also mentors all of the therapists here at RTC. We have a couples sex therapy specialist to help you today.
Begin Sex Therapy in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to regain intimacy in your relationship, sex therapy with a couples counselor at The Relationship Therapy Center can help. Our compassionate therapists want to help you and your partner feel comfortable being passionate with each other again. We are here to help support you in your relationship journey. To begin sex therapy at our counseling clinic in the Sacramento, CA area or online, please follow these steps:
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Contact our therapy center to learn more about sex therapy.
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Make an appointment with one of our Gottman trained sex therapists.
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Find healing in your relationship and regain intimacy with your loved one.
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to sex therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.