Do relationships need boundaries? 

You might think that boundaries are unnecessary. Maybe you feel that limits will stifle the spontaneity in your relationship. However, all healthy relationships need boundaries. Boundaries are like a road map for your relationship. They provide a guide for how your relationship will work and how you will get your needs met. Limits allow both you and your partner to feel safe and comfortable in the relationship. Here are the four important ones.

#1 Privacy

A healthy relationship involves trust. Each partner should have privacy. You should not have to give up your privacy to be in a relationship. Your partner should not read your texts, snoop on your Facebook or otherwise invade your privacy. Both partners should be entitled to digital privacy. If your partner uses your phone or computer, they should ask you first. It is okay to share debit card pins, social media passwords and other information, however, it should be your choice to do so rather than an obligation.

#2 Personal Space and Autonomy

Do you have the freedom to spend your weekends how you want? Do you have the autonomy to go back to school if you desire? Do you have to check in with your partner or regularly explain your whereabouts? One of the essential boundaries in a relationship is space. Although spending time with your partner is the key to closeness in a relationship, having time apart is important too. If boundaries involving personal space and freedom are not being respected, then it is a good idea for the couple to consider Roseville marriage counseling to figure out how to set healthier boundaries.

#3 Intimacy and Sexual Boundaries

Sex should always feel comfortable and consensual. You should not feel pressured into doing certain sex acts if you are not comfortable doing them. Sexual protection should be agreed on by both partners. You should never have to compromise your right to healthy, safe sex. Also, sex should not feel like an obligation. In a healthy relationship, each partner will feel comfortable discussing sexual issues with the other person. So, for instance, if you think that sex has become an obligation, then you can come up with a solution to fix things. If you feel hesitant to discuss your concerns or you feel like your partner doesn’t listen to you, then it could indicate that the relationship does not have healthy boundaries.

#4 A Safe Environment

Safety is another vital boundary area in a relationship. Both partners should have a reasonable expectation of safety. This means that you should not have to put up with your partner smoking near you. You should not be expected to ride in a car with a person who is drunk or be given drugs or alcohol without your consent or knowledge.

What can you do if you don’t have these types of boundaries in your relationship? If your partner is asking you to do things that do not feel right or that are not healthy for you, it is essential to set clear boundaries.

The first step in setting clear boundaries is to talk to a marriage counselor. One of our counselors in Roseville or Fair Oaks can help you communicate your needs, thoughts, and feelings to your partner. They can also help you learn to set clear, well-defined boundaries with your partner in marriage counseling. If you need help with setting boundaries you might also be helped by codependency counseling.

Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
2. Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
3. Find support and healing in your relationship!

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.