The term “codependency” refers to the excessive emotional or psychological reliance on your partner in a relationship. While codependency is common in partnerships where one person is recovering from an illness or addiction, it’s not altogether uncommon for people to experience some level of codependency in typical romantic relationships.
Becoming aware of the signs of codependency is the first step in recognizing that there are some relationship dynamics that you and your partner may need to address and rebalance. Working with a licensed therapist is the fastest way to identify, work through and overcome the challenges that codependency presents in a relationship.
Here Are Five Signs That You May Be In a Codependent Relationship, and Could Benefit From Working With a Couples Therapist
You Struggle to Make Decisions in Your Relationship
Bouncing ideas around together is one thing, but if neither you nor your partner feel confident or comfortable making a decision that affects you both, it may be a sign of codependency. It’s important for both people in a partnership to feel empowered and confident in making decisions with the best interest of both parties in mind.
You Have Trouble Identifying Your Feelings
A lack of clarity around what you’re feeling — and why — can result in frustration, hopelessness and low self-esteem, which each have various ways of manifesting as difficulties within a relationship. Working with a therapist to learn how to identify and process your emotions is the first step toward making empowered change in a healthy, emotionally secure partnership.
You Have Difficulty Communicating Your Feelings With Your Partner, Out of Fear They Might Leave You or Become Angry
While learning to identify and process your feelings is one thing, learning how to communicate them with your partner is another. If one or both of you are holding back sharing your feelings for fear of being left behind, misunderstood or judged, it may be a sign that you are leaning on the codependent nature of your relationship to hold you together, rather than true emotional intimacy.
You Crave Approval From Your Partner More Than Approval From Yourself
We all want to feel loved and accepted for who we are, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The issues arise, though, when the need for approval from a partner overtakes our need for self-approval, and self-trust. When we place the need for approval outside of ourselves, we can be easily disappointed or hurt when those needs are not met. This in turn promotes further lack of self-trust and self-esteem.
You Lack Trust in Yourself to Do the Right Thing or Make the Right Choices
Leading on from the previous point — when we are constantly seeking permission and validation from others to make our own decisions, we can learn to rely on others to decide what is best for ourselves. While it’s perfectly normal — and healthy — to speak openly with your partner about your goals and dreams, changes you want to instigate, or decisions you have to make — relying on your partner to tell you what to do only decreases your self of sense, and places enormous pressure on them to guide you in making the right choices.
Do any of these sound familiar to you? It could be that you might benefit from speaking with a therapist about your relationship dynamic, and your own interpersonal relating skills.
Begin Codependent Counseling in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA
You and your partner are equals, and this should be reflected in your relationship. If you are struggling with codependency, our caring therapists would be happy to support you in changing your dynamic. Our team can help your relationship thrive from the comfort of home via online therapy in California, or in person! We offer counseling in Fair Oaks, CA, and Roseville, CA. To start your therapy journey with the Relationship Therapy Center, please follow these simple steps:
Contact the Relationship Therapy Center to schedule a free 20-minute phone consult
Meet with one of our relationship therapists
Begin working with a marriage counselor in California, and overcome codependent habits.
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to codependency counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.