When it comes to romance, we’re all familiar with the Hollywood version which, truth be told, doesn’t appeal to everyone.
The reality is we all have our own definitions of romance. Often though, we never share this with our partner. Which naturally results in feeling disappointed—or even slightly embarrassed on Valentine’s Day, as not everyone cares for flowers.
Here, we invite both you and your other half to clearly lay out your version of what your perfect romace would look like.
Sharing your definition (and inviting your other half to do the same) is the best way to get what you want this Valentine’s Day.
What’s Your Idea of a Perfect Romance?
The uber-commercialization of every holiday has paved the way for lofty expectations, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. The good news is, you get to decide how to celebrate.
If you take a moment to think about love and romance, what’s important to you?
What actions would your partner need to take to help land your ideal vision of romance?
As you think about this, do your best to remove any societal expectations from the equation. Encourage your significant other to think about what their idea of a perfect romance is as well.
It may help to consider the foundation that needs to be in place in order for romance to thrive: Connection, communication, collaboration, trust, and a shared vision of the future.
These building blocks of a relationship make it much easier for romance to exist in an authentic and meaningful way. Yearly gifts and romantic gestures are pretty much meaningless if trust and respect are absent in a relationship.
How Can Your Partner Help Bring Your Romantic Vision to Life?
After you’ve thought about all the details that define your ideal version of romance, it’s time to jot those down.
The key here is to not only list your definition, you also want to include some ideas on what your partner can do to make it happen.
For example, if connection is on your list, how do you want to connect? What can your partner do to connect with you?
It’s also important to be realistic. Your budget and the demands of daily life may require you to do some creative thinking. With busy work schedules, kids, and all your other obligations, getting time alone together, just the two of you, may not be feasible for extended periods of time.
Finally, it’s important to remember that romance involves give and take. It’s unfair for one person to be expected to fully cater to the other, without any heed or consideration being shown for them and their needs.
While Valentine’s Day is the day everyone thinks about romance, it can exist the rest of the year as well.
Usually, when you and your partner are in tune with each other, it’s much easier to get into the romantic frame of mind. You’re more aware of each other’s needs, energy levels, and feelings, and can offer encouragement, love, and little surprises to show your care for one another.
If your relationship is going through a rough patch, you may discover that it feels awkward—even challenging—to define romance and share it with your spouse, especially if you feel distant or disconnected from one another.
In that case, couples counseling is an excellent resource.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’ve helped all sorts of couples navigate challenges and reignite their spark. We have two Northern California locations, offering therapy and couples counseling in Roseville and Fair Oaks.
Curious to learn more? Please reach out, anytime. We’d love to hear from you and share more about how we can help.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.