That New Year’s energy is mighty alluring, and it’s impossible to not get drawn into a state of reflection: How did the previous year go, and what dreams and aspirations do you have for the next?
Typically, new year’s resolutions tend to err on the personal—a valiant solo effort to improve health, finances, or some other worthy challenge. Rarely do these resolutions involve someone else.
Which—if you’re in a relationship—seems like a missed opportunity. Coming up with relationship goals strengthens your bond, deepens intimacy (both physical and emotional), lessens the likelihood of you drifting apart, improves communication, and much, much more.
With all those benefits, why not reflect on the state of your union, and jump at this chance to better your relationship?
If this is something that interests you, check out our tips for couples on setting relationship goals together.
Relationship Goal Setting
Ok—for some, chances are if you approach your partner and say, “hey, we need to come up with relationship goals and resolutions,” they’ll suddenly remember this really important thing they need to do, and grab their keys.
If you have a sneaking suspicion your request will be met with similar avoidance, do your best to bring up relationship goal setting from a perspective your other half will be receptive to. It’s a collaborative effort after all—the point is not to make this one-sided in any way.
The goals you come up with should be discussed and mutually agreed upon, with the end result being an even better, stronger relationship.
The ideas you come up with should be focused on strengthening your bond, and will be unique to each couple based on the nature and dynamics within the relationship.
If the prospect of coming up with relationship strengthening goals seems far-fetched, or if you’re so far away from being on the same page as your partner that it feels as though you’re in separate books, finding a couple’s counselor is your best bet to help find your way back together.
Be Specific
When setting relationship goals, the more specific you are, the easier it is to find steps and solutions to achieve those goals.
You’ll want to identify the areas where you’d like to improve, then lay out actionable steps that will help lead to those improvements.
If there’s a way to measure progress, great! Outline what that looks like. For example, if the goal is to be more present with one another, think of those situations in which you’re present with one another—no distractions—and schedule time for those activities.
Here are some examples of couple’s goals:
- Deepen connection – spend 6 hours of quality time together a week
- Improve communication – commit to 1 weekly couples counseling session
- Have more fun – brainstorm couples bucket list, and start checking it off
- Reestablish intimacy – commit to 2 nights a week of intimate time together
- Get on track financially – come up with budget, see financial planner, and follow guidelines outlined by professionals on how to get out of debt
Remember to approach this as a unit; no judging or blaming.
For some couples, it may be easier to pick one goal to work on before moving on to the next. For example, if communication is the issue, learning how to communicate effectively should be the first goal, as good communication is imperative to any collaborative effort.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins to Assess Progress
Once you have your goals in place, it’s important to schedule check-ins to assess your progress. They can be monthly, and don’t have to be overly formal.
Essentially, you just want to be paying attention. You want to evaluate what’s working, and provide examples of where you see improvements made.
If something isn’t working, scrap it and seek an alternative.
Maximize Intentional Communication
As you go through this process together, it’s crucial that you use intentional communication. There should be no passive aggressiveness. You want to be purposeful and considerate with your words, and actively listen.
If this process ends up resulting in a big argument, or you feel as though it’s almost impossible to even discuss this due to a current lack of healthy communication, it’s important to seek help.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, this is where we shine. We’ve helped countless couples navigate challenges, and helped restore a supportive and loving connection. We have two convenient Northern California locations, offering counseling in Roseville and Fair Oaks. Our hours are flexible to accommodate even the busiest of schedules, and we welcome you to call or text anytime to hear more about how we can help.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.