Can a Marriage Counselor Save a Marriage?

You’re reeling after realizing the extent of the denial you’ve been in for, oh, at least 6 years. It hit you on your commute to work: this is your life. It’s not changing, it’s not getting better. 

Your marriage is miserable. You can’t discuss anything without getting into an argument. Even seemingly neutral topics are off bounds. 

Two nights ago, you brought up the topic of saving for retirement, something every couple needs to discuss. How’d that go?  He ended up storming out of the house. 

You just want things to get better. You know the kids do, too. You think about couples counseling, something the two of you used to pride yourselves on not doing. “We’re great together, we don’t need help, we’ve got it figured out.” 

That was ten years ago, and even when things slowly started to fall apart, you still (foolishly, oh, so foolishly!) prided yourselves on not going to therapy.

Now, it’s time to make a change; it’s time to enlist the help of a marriage counselor and save your marriage. Still, though, you’re skeptical. Can seeing a couple’s counselor save your marriage?

Can my Marriage be Saved with Couples Counseling?

You’ve heard the saying ‘it takes two to tango.’ If you both show up in your dancing shoes, ready to learn while trying not to step on each other’s toes, there’s hope. There is a good chance therapy will save your marriage. 

Said another way, both of you need to show up, be present, and be willing to be vulnerable and honest. 

Unfortunately, most people are not taught how to communicate properly. Often, people assume what’s true for them is true for others. Past experiences influence current perspectives, sometimes without people even realizing it. All of this can have a severe negative impact on a marriage. The good news is, you can learn to communicate well and gain a clearer perspective on how each of you operates.

A therapist will help the two of you strip away all the BS, all the dysfunction. Throughout the sessions, you’ll gain a deeper insight into each other and yourselves. 

You’ll learn what’s influencing certain dynamics. You’ll learn why you want to shut down. You’ll learn to pinpoint and express your feelings without making them someone else’s problem. 

Therapy is an incredibly powerful tool, and all that’s required is active engaged presence. 

When Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work

If one person is single-handedly trying to save the marriage, marriage counseling won’t work. Again, both parties have to be fully committed and engaged in the process.

However, this doesn’t mean you should abandon the idea of therapy entirely. A couples counselor can help you process a breakup or divorce. They can also help the two of you work together to figure out what co-parenting looks like. 

Even when marriage counseling doesn’t yield the desired result, it is still incredibly powerful. It provides insight into what your needs are, and it teaches you how to express yourself.

It sets you up for success in your next relationship, so you don’t end up repeating the same patterns.

If there are problems in your relationship, do yourself a favor and start couples counseling, stat. 

At the Relationship Therapy Center, we have helped scores of couples and can help you to. Please reach out any time to learn more about who we are and how we can help.

Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:

1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
2. Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
3. Find support and healing in your relationship!

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.