As seen in DatingNews.com written by Emma Patterson
The Scoop: Couples who find themselves in therapy usually want to solve an acute issue in record time. But as Nancy Ryan, LMFT at Relationship Therapy Center, told us, conflict resolution can’t be rushed. It’s all about listening, emotional regulation, and creating a safe space where conflict resolution is possible.
There’s a common misconception that couples therapy is a place where people can resolve their issues in just one or two sessions. With a little hand–holding and a few kumbayas, you and your S.O. will be back to kissing and cuddling in no time, right? Not so fast!
It’s true that counselors can provide wisdom and guidance for spiraling relationships, but they aren’t miracle workers. You and your partner have to be willing to do the heavy lifting to resolve conflict. Licensed marriage and family therapist Nancy Ryan from Relationship Therapy Center told us how important it is for couples to feel safe within themselves, their relationships, and even their surroundings.
To achieve safety in therapy, you and your partner need to understand what you’re getting into. Nancy emphasized how couples should start therapy with three goals: to gain empathy into their partner’s perspective, to cultivate a safe space, and to have productive conversations that lead to conflict resolution.
Your Therapist Is A Neutral Third Party
Nancy made one thing clear: In a relationship, right and wrong is rarely black and white. “Good couples therapy is not about who’s right and wrong,” she told us. “It’s about teaching each other that each person has a [different] perspective.” And most importantly, couples must understand that having different perspectives isn’t a flaw.
Ask yourself what matters most: proving you remember every little detail of a conversation, or clearly expressing your feelings? “When we can validate each other’s perspectives instead of fighting about facts, you get to intimacy and conflict resolution a lot sooner,” Nancy explained.
So if you’re only into therapy for the self-satisfaction of being proven right, you may be in the wrong place. “Part of what we do at our practice is make sure that we convey this right away,” Nancy said.
Originally from DatingNews.com, this piece written by Emma Patterson from an an interview with Nancy Ryan, LMFT and owner of The Relationship Therapy Center, is testament to the importance of emotional regulation and how it can help you create a safe space for yourself and your partner. You can read the whole article here:
A Couples Counselor Explained Why Conflict Resolution Is Only Possible In A Safe Space
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.