Blog
Can a Marriage Counselor Save a Marriage?
You’re reeling after realizing the extent of the denial you’ve been in for, oh, at least 6 years. It hit you on your commute to work: this is your life. It’s not changing, it’s not getting better.
Your marriage is miserable. You can’t discuss anything without getting into an argument. Even seemingly neutral topics are off bounds.
Two nights ago, you brought up the topic of saving for retirement, something every couple needs to discuss. How’d that go? He ended up storming out of the house.
You just want things to get better. You know the kids do, too. You think about couples counseling, something the two of you used to pride yourselves on not doing. “We’re great together, we don’t need help, we’ve got it figured out.”
That was ten years ago, and even when things slowly started to fall apart, you still (foolishly, oh, so foolishly!) prided yourselves on not going to therapy.
Now, it’s time to make a change; it’s time to enlist the help of a marriage counselor and save your marriage. Still, though, you’re skeptical. Can seeing a couple’s counselor save your marriage?
Is Our Communication Bad Enough for Therapy?
As humans, we’re pretty adaptable. Adaptability is a good trait to have when you’re doing, let’s say, a home renovation. You don’t have a working kitchen and are having to take showers at the gym, but you’re flexible enough to make it work, albeit temporarily.
Adaptability is not so good when your relationship starts to slip, and rather than say, ‘hey, wait a minute, let’s fix this,’ you adapt by letting a state of constant bickering or not connecting becomes your new normal.
If you’re someone who thinks couples therapy is only for infidelity or “serious” issues, let this serve as a wakeup call: Many divorces occur due to a lack of communication and other seemingly innocuous issues that accumulate over time.
Here are some common indicators that your communication (or lack thereof) is slowly destroying your relationship.
What are Examples of Trauma?
What is trauma? Whenever your sense of safety is disrupted, your mind and body take notice.
The aftermath, how much it disrupts your life, is dictated by how you are affected by the experience, and the steps you take to heal.
Let’s take a look at the five main examples of trauma:
What Actually Happens in an EMDR Session?
Many people think all that happens in therapy sessions is talk, talk, talk. However, therapists have a lot of tricks and tools up their sleeve, and EMDR is one of them. In fact, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) has proven so effective, it has become one of the leading trauma treatments.
What are the Toughest Years of Marriage?
The tricky thing about life is it’s hard to arm yourself with the knowledge you need to survive unforeseen circumstances. The future is distant, and things are going really well, so why bother?
One of the many perks of life is, resources exist to provide you with the knowledge you need to arm yourself against unforeseen circumstances. Sure, the work can be hard at times but it’s worth it.
Whether you’re a newlywed still riding high on honeymoon magic, or you’re experiencing big life changes where things start to become rocky. These are the toughest years of marriage, and what you can do to come out strong.
How to Treat Each Other with Respect
How do I treat my partner with respect? Why is it that when we get married or are in a relationship, we forget the common rules of respecting one...
Micro-Cheating: Signs and What to Do About It
What is Micro-chating? Micro-cheating is a less blatant form of cheating. The partner engaging in the act may not even be fully aware of what they’re doing, and how detrimental it can be to their current relationship.
Micro-cheating involves cultivating emotional intimacy with someone outside of the parameters of a current relationship, in a way that could hurt the other party in the relationship.
Similar to emotional cheating, there is usually no touching or physical intimacy. While a true definition of micro-cheating can vary slightly according to personality and comfort level in a relationship, signs of micro-cheating are:
What is it Like to be Married to Someone with ADHD?
First comes the frustration: damp towels abandoned on the bedroom carpet. Kitchen cabinet doors left open. The junk drawer expands to a second drawer, then a third.
They go from zero to frustrated faster than a Bugatti reaches top speed. Despite constant reminders, they’re often late and forgetful.
You’ve said, how many times do I have to show you where the laundry basket is? almost as many times as you’ve said, I love you. Because, despite all the frustrations, you do.
What is it like to be married to someone with ADHD? It often feels like you’re the only adult in the house.
The good news is, help is available. Couples therapy is an incredibly effective way to manage ADHD.
First, it’s worth noting the importance of receiving an official diagnosis. About 25% of Americans suspect they have ADHD, yet have not received a diagnosis from a qualified source. A therapist can diagnose and help treat ADHD.
What Are the Toughest Years of Marriage?
You’ve probably heard about the “seven-year itch” or been warned that the first year of marriage is the hardest. But if you’re in year three—or year fifteen—and things feel harder than they should, you might be wondering: Is this normal? Or is something wrong with us?
The truth is, there’s no single year that breaks marriages. But there are seasons and transitions that put relationships to the test. Here’s what we’ve learned from years of couples therapy working with couples throughout Fair Oaks, Roseville, and the greater Sacramento area.
What Happens if You Don’t Treat Trauma?
Did you know that there are several ways to treat tauma?
One moment you’re just living life, and the next moment you’re pinned upside down in a vehicle with smoke seeping through the dash.
Traumatic occurrences happen to all of us, and if we don’t take the time to properly process the experience, they can (and will!) have severe negative impacts on our life.
As defined, trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Yet what qualifies as such is solely dependent on the individual.
If you experienced a traumatic event that still haunts you to this day, here’s why it’s important you get help.
What Is the #1 Reason Marriages Fail?
If you’ve found yourself Googling this question, What Is the #1 Reason Marriages Fail?, you’re probably not just curious—you’re worried. Something feels different. Maybe it’s the way you talk to each other lately, or how small frustrations now land like personal attacks. Maybe you notice that respect—once easy to access—feels harder to hold onto, especially when you’re tired, stressed, or juggling everything life demands.
Here’s what decades of research—and our experience with couples throughout the Sacramento area- show about why marriages actually fail, and what you can do about it.
Couples Therapy for Separation
Nobody gets married expecting to divorce, yet for many couples, divorce is an inevitable reality without couples therapy. Divorce is already hard enough as it is without adding drama. The last thing anyone wants is for it to escalate into a free-for-all rife with name calling and pettiness.
So, how do you navigate this emotionally-charged situation without totally dragging each other through the mud and traumatizing your kids in the process?
Your best course of action is to find a couples therapist for separation or divorce.
When Should a Couple Go to Marriage Counseling?
Why would you need marriage counseling? You’re not screaming at each other. There’s no slamming doors or ultimatums. But somewhere between morning coffee and falling asleep on opposite sides of the bed, you’ve started wondering: Is this just what marriage becomes?
Perhaps you’ve noticed the same argument recurring every few weeks. Or you’ve stopped sharing the small stuff—the frustrating meeting, the funny thing the dog did—because it feels like your partner isn’t really listening anymore. You’re not unhappy exactly, but you’re not connected either.
If you’re a busy professional in the Sacramento area—juggling demanding careers, kids’ schedules, and the endless logistics of life—it’s easy to tell yourself you’ll “work on the relationship” once things slow down. But things rarely slow down. And that quiet distance? It tends to grow.
The good news: You don’t have to wait until you’re “bad enough” to seek help. In fact, couples who come to couples therapy and marriage counseling before they’re ready to give up tend to see the best results.
This post will help you recognize when it might be time—and what to expect if you decide to take that step.
Is Couples Therapy Covered by Insurance?
Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, most health insurance companies do not cover couples therapy.
Why?
Because it’s not considered “medically necessary,” which is the criteria they use to gauge whether or not they will pay for a medical or behavioral health service.
Yet there are some cases in which couples counseling is covered. Let’s take a look at when and why couples counseling is covered by insurance.
5 Signs Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The word “narcissist” gets casually thrown around a lot. Maybe a co-worker uses the word to describe a particularly demanding boss. The media often use the word to talk about a self-centered actor or politician. To make matters even more confusing, a person who has a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be quite charismatic and likable — at least on the surface. So, how do you know if you are dealing with a person who might have narcissistic personality disorder? Here are some classic signs of narcissistic personality disorder.
Reach out to start your healing journey today