Are you your own worst enemy?

Do you do what you shouldn’t and fail to do what you should?

Maybe you know you shouldn’t eat certain foods because of a health problem, but you do it anyway.

Maybe you know you really need to get an assignment done by the end of the week – but you keep procrastinating.

Or maybe you know you shouldn’t be watching TV so late because you’ll have trouble getting up on time for work – but you can’t seem to stop yourself.

You might ask: What’s wrong with me? Am I that irrational? Why am I doing this?

Simply answered: Yes, there is something wrong. No, you’re not defective. And you do this because your subconscious can be affected by many things – like previous failures, existing fears, insecurities, or ignorance – and turn you into your own worst enemy. It can even cause depression.

How Can I Stop Being My Own Worst Enemy?

1. Be Honest With Yourself

The first step to overcoming self-sabotage is to face the fact that the problem exists. Admitting our own difficulties can often be very unpleasant. We think of them as weaknesses. But they’re not! They are simply obstacles that need to be overcome.

2. Identify the Problem

Since the root of the problem lies within, observation of yourself is the key to understanding. Take a step back, look at the big picture, and take time to analyze the situation, your behavior, your feelings, and your thoughts. What excuses do you make to keep you from doing what you should do? What reasons do you give yourself for why you just can’t reach a specific goal?  Be prepared to be brutally honest with yourself. Figure out what the real truth is about your behavior.

3. Take Control of YOUR Life

You can stop being your own worst enemy – just stop blaming others! It’s your life, nobody else’s. Understand 1) that you can control your own actions and 2) that you are the only person who can make the necessary changes. The motivation for it might come from outside, but nobody can take action for you. You alone have that power – use it!

4. Know Your Strengths

Understand who you are and what you’re capable of. Make a list of your strengths and look at it often, especially when you have doubts about being able to do something. Break the habit of underestimating yourself. It only keeps you from achieving your goals.

5. Quit Focusing on the Negative

Create some distance between you and any negative thoughts. Observe them and ask yourself if what you’re thinking can really be true. Then, think about what you can change, not what you can’t. Ask what can go right, not what can go wrong. Find inspiration to motivate you by reading up on the subject or asking someone else for help. Don’t forget to remind yourself of the goals that you have already reached!

6. Learn to Adapt

If you failed, learn from it! Don’t let your worry about failing again keep you from trying. Procrastinating only prolongs the inevitable. When something you know you should do feels overwhelming and scary, tackle it by taking one tiny step at a time.

7. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

You’re not perfect. And you don’t have to be. Give yourself some room to grow. There’s no reason to beat yourself up for stumbling at times. We all do! Practice positive progress, instead of perfection. Make conscious choices, accept both the positive and negative aspects of a situation.

Granted, it takes time and real effort to stop being your own worst enemy. But it’s worth it!

Just imagine all the things you can achieve when you quit sabotaging yourself all the time.

Begin Therapy in the Sacramento Area or Online:

Are you ready to find peace and achieve your goals? We are here to support you and provide high-quality, evidence-based treatment to people in the Sacramento Area and to people living in the state of California online. To begin therapy in Fair Oaks, CA or Roseville, CA, please follow these steps:

1. Reach out to our relationship therapy clinic for a free 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about trauma therapy.
2. Meet with one of our compassionate therapists.
3. Begin treatment and regain control in your life.

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to individual therapy, our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA, are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Individual therapy services include therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones heal and grow.