There’s still a certain stigma about couples who seek relationship counseling.
It’s as though therapy is a sign that they don’t love each other anymore, that one or both partners don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, or that they may be a “bad match” or not good at maintaining their relationship.
In reality, nothing could be further from the truth — couples who seek counseling do so because they care deeply for their partner, and are committed to doing everything within their power to improve their relationship.
We’ve put together this list of signs it might be time for you and your partner to seek couples therapy.
It might be time to seek counseling if you or your partner:
- Have become indifferent to how the other person is feeling
- Can’t communicate without things escalating into an argument or a fight
- Have taken to lying and keeping secrets
- Have a significantly decreased sex drive
- Believes the other person is always the one at fault
- Have been unfaithful
- Feels as though you’re having the same argument over and over again
- Have developed nasty or antagonistic communication habits
- Feel as though the other person has become emotionally distant
- Feel lonely within your relationship
- Have fallen out of love (“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”)
- Aren’t able to rely on each other
- Don’t see each others needs and desires as equally important
- Have issues stemming from your attachment styles in regards to self-worth, codependency, or fear of abandonment
- Don’t see each other as a priority
- Feel unsupported or dismissed when trying to talk about how you feel
- Have difficulty opening up to the other person emotionally
- Struggle to talk about sex, sexual desires, and sexual intimacy
- Have consistent and prolonged difficulties with the other person’s family, friends, colleagues, career or health issues
- Have issues with abuse, affairs, or addiction
- Have different parenting styles that often result in conflict
- Disagree on the best way to manage your finances
- Feel as though household chores, tasks, and parenting responsibilities are unfairly divided
- Have underlying, untreated mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression
- Feels that the other person makes all the decisions within the relationship
- Had a difficult childhood resulting in unhealed trauma or emotional wounding
- Have difficulty communicating or staying present during a disagreement or an argument
Deciding on Couples Counseling
It’s important to note that an occasional act of selfishness, or a one-off insensitive statement is very different to consistent, prolonged disassociation from the relationship. If you recognize several of these signs as having been present in your relationship for a sustained period of time, you might like to consider discussing couples therapy with your partner.
If your partner is resistant to the idea of going to couples therapy, it’s important to validate their opinions and concerns without dismissing them. If cost is an issue, you could suggest attending a one-off, one-day couples retreat as a “trial run”, to introduce your partner to a therapeutic environment. If your partner feels as though they’re being “punished” or “forced” into going to therapy, talk to them about their feelings and focus on your desire to grow closer to them. If they’re worried that therapy will become a container for you to “attack” them, reassure your partner that therapy is an opportunity to grow and connect, not attack or place blame.
Feeling seen and heard by your partner is a crucial element in bringing you closer together, and maintaining a strong healthy relationship. If you’re ready to explore this further, consider seeking couples therapy with a licensed professional.
Begin Couples Counseling or Couples Retreats in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the caring therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA, and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin counseling in the Sacramento, CA area, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about marriage counseling or couples retreats and to schedule a free consultation,
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman trained therapists
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.