It almost seems counter intuitive, right? You’re madly in love, have found the perfect person – your soulmate! – counseling is the furthest thing from your mind.

It’s hard to foresee problems occurring in the future. Especially when everything is going well and you’re preparing for a wedding; there’s so much excitement and anticipation.

Here’s the harsh reality: in the USA alone, half of marriages end in divorce.

Divorce is expensive, messy, and sometimes brings out the worst in people. If kids are involved, it can be a brutal experience for them as well. 

Orshan Law lists the top 5 reasons people divorce as:

  1. Infidelity
  2. Lack of Intimacy
  3. Communication
  4. Money
  5. Addiction

Couple learning how to communicate effectively before marriage with a therapist in Roseville, CA

According to, a study conducted found that couples who had premarital counseling had a 31% lower divorce rate than those who did not. 

Premarital counseling prepares you for what’s ahead. Arms you with the knowledge and know-how so you’re less likely to succumb to the factors that contribute to divorce, should they arise. And if they do, you’ll be able to spot and extinguish them early on. 

Premarital counseling can be loosely compared to getting a college degree: you learn the ins and outs of your major, and when you graduate, you’re more successful in that field because of the knowledge you accrued. Your education is built upon the work of people who studied and came before you. They suffered through perplexing situations before discovering something new, and now you get to benefit from their knowledge, and never have to flounder about as you try to figure out what’s already known.

In premarital counseling you: 

  • Learn more about your partner 
  • Discuss life-goals, make sure they’re aligned
  • Learn how to effectively communicate through hardships
  • Learn about each other’s money habits, etc. 
  • Discuss any areas of potential concern
  • Strategize


Lesbian couples enjoying date night after going to premarital counseling in Fair Oaks, CA

Some may still turn up their nose at the prospect of counseling. Deem it only relevant for people who have problems

Thankfully, that view is changing. More and more couples are choosing to be proactive, and sign up for premarital counseling.

Some popular approaches to premarital counseling – established by Dr. Gottman, and used by Gottman trained therapists are:

  • Building Love Maps How well do you know your partner? A love map is your guide to one another; you’ll learn each other’s greatest ambitions, fears, stories, etc. 
  • Establishing Rituals for Connection – How do you plan on celebrating major holidays? What type of vacations will you take, what ways will you use to explore the world and life?
  • Practice Communication Skills – how will you keep one another appraised of what goes on in your life, what you’re struggling with, etc.? 
  • Learning How to Listen to One Another – How can you stay present and not get defensive if your partner is trying to communicate something challenging? How will you hear what your partner is saying?
  • Learning How to Discuss Issues When They Arise – So many of us have been conditioned to sweep things under the rug. Discussing issues can be uncomfortable, and the more you don’t do it, the more “ick” builds up.

African American couple in therapy in Roseville, CA for premarital counseling | Premarital counseling for second marriages in Fair Oaks, CA

How do you plan on NOT letting this happen; become brave enough to learn how to maneuver the uncomfortable? 

Marriage is a life-long commitment and plays a big part in your overall happiness and wellbeing.  

If you’re serious about a successful union, give us a call. Our Gottman trained therapists look forward to sharing the necessary tools, skills, and insight. We are excited to help you on your path to happily ever after. 

Begin Premarital Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

You want your marriage to last forever, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part. So why not invest in your future and get premarital counseling? Our therapists would love to help you build a solid foundation for a healthy relationship at our counseling centers in Fair Oaks, CA, Roseville, CA or during online therapy. To get started, follow these steps:

Other Counseling Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to premarital counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.