Most of us want to be having great sex, but let’s set the record straight – great sex doesn’t have to mean having passionate, rip-your-clothes-off sex every moment of every day. Instead, great sex is something that makes us feel emotionally connected to our partner, relaxed and comfortable in our own bodies, and that has a positive impact on our overall health and well-being. Most of all, great sex is relaxing and fun.
But great sex is doesn’t just happen, it takes time and energy to create, and for a lot of people, sex can be an uncomfortable subject to talk about. We are reluctant to even begin conversations about this topic, let alone to ask our partner for what we want or need in the bedroom. And it’s not our fault. We weren’t raised in a culture that teaches or encourages healthy sexual relationships.
If you are experiencing a lack of sexuality in your relationship, ignoring it will only make it worse; the longer we go without sex, the easier it is to forget about it and the more difficult it will be to get back in the groove. And sex is an important part of a relationship. In long-term relationships, it is natural for couples to experience sexual ebbs and flows. However, it’s a very slippery slope from having great sex… to less sex… to no sex… to finding yourself in a sexless marriage, which is a different situation entirely. Physical intimacy is built with time, trust, and practice, as well as the ability and willingness to talk about it… which is why sex therapy could be very helpful to get your relationship out of a rut.
How Sex Therapy Can Help
You and your partner will meet with a trained professional who will help facilitate tricky conversations and teach you to navigate murky relationship waters.
You’ll learn that you aren’t alone – a lot of couples seek help in this area. This actually makes sense in our culture because we aren’t taught about pleasure or libido, let alone how to create trust and intimacy with someone in a way that makes us feel safe to sexually experiment and explore.
You may discover underlying issues that you aren’t currently aware of. A lot of the time, a decline in sexual activity isn’t the problem, but rather a symptom of something else that is at play. For example, if one or both partners has experienced any kind of sexual abuse, dysfunction, infidelity, or shaming, chances are it’s affecting the way they feel about sex. Sex therapy is about finding and resolving that core issue.
You’ll be in a safe space where you can voice your fears and fantasies, away from any kind of shame or judgment.
You will be assigned homework. Your therapist may recommend books, suggest activities and exercises, and encourage the two of you to create opportunities to touch, connect, explore, and play. If participating in your own sex life feels difficult or uncomfortable, having someone hold you accountable may make it more likely for you to show up and make progress.
Ideally, the end result of going to sex therapy is climbing your way out of a relationship rut (if one exists) and having more intimate sex. That is, more sex that is fun, playful, passionate, and connected. If your relationship feels stuck or disconnected and you’d like help discovering and creating something new, the Relationship Therapy Center offers individual, couples, marriage, and sex therapy both online and in person. Contact us today to find out more.
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to sex therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples services include: Couples Counseling, Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, intensive couples retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include anxiety treatment, therapy for children, teen therapy, depression treatment, codependency counseling and individual relationship counseling. Our therapists offer online counseling in California to treat a variety of mental health concerns. Please reach out to our Sacramento area therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you or your loved ones.
Sex therapy can be beneficial, with the right therapist. Our compassionate therapists are trained to walk you through the process and help you find healing and peace.