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What Are Attachment Injuries and How Do They Affect You?
Attachment injuries are emotional wounds that become activated when a person with an insecure attachment style falls in love.
If you’re involved in a push-pull dynamic or if you feel as though your partner is withdrawing and thoughts of life without them terrifies you. Similarly, if you feel an overwhelming urge to be alone and are terrified of letting your guard down and getting close to someone, you may be insecurely attached.
Often, people misinterpret the intense feelings that accompany attachment injuries, believing the emotional rollercoaster is a sign of true love.
The ups and downs of attachment injuries can even become addictive. Coupled with the belief that intensity exists because the person you’re involved in this tumultuous union with is your soul mate, keeps many people stuck. They are unaware that what’s really going on is they’re being jerked around by an attachment injury, and as a result are missing out on experiencing real love.
So, what are attachment injuries, and how do they affect you? Let’s dive in.
Therapy for Men: What Does it Look Like and What Do They Work On?
A misconception about therapy that tends to terrify men is that it’s super touchy feely and delves deep into the muck and mire of emotions and feelings.
Thankfully, there are tons of therapeutic modalities that emphasize logic without dwelling on the emotional experience.
For those curious about therapy for men, here’s what it looks like, including some of the things they work on in session.
What Makes Relationship Therapy Center’s Intensive Couples Retreat Unique?
One of the most incredible parts of being a therapist is seeing people’s lives improve by working through their issues. And when it comes to our intensive couples retreat, often, we see that change happen overnight.
Think of a couples retreat like a relationship renovation: It’s an intensive, done over 2 or 3 days where the parts of the relationship that no longer work are stripped away. The ‘support beams’ are examined and strengthened if necessary, and then the whole thing is rebuilt stronger and better than it was before.
If you’re considering an intensive couples retreat, (spoiler, they’re worth every penny!) Here’s what sets ours apart from the rest.
The Gottman Method and Beyond: How We Include Other Concepts in Couples Counseling
When couples undergo therapy together, they all have the same goal. They’re looking for something that works, something that addresses the challenges they’re currently facing.
Yet no one benefits from a one-size-fits-all approach.
In order to effectively treat couples, it’s important to hone in on the unique relationship dynamics of each, and come up with an individualized treatment approach. It is also important to have advanced skills in couples therapy.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, our therapists are well-versed in a variety of proven couples counseling protocols which means they’re prepared to assist no matter what the issues are.
Here are some of the ones we use often, and what they help address.
When You’re Successful at Work but Failing at Love
Successful people often struggle with relationships. One of the main reasons this occurs is that the skills that drive career success—competitiveness, emotional detachment, and relentless goal-pursuit—can actually damage intimate connections.
Here’s a deeper look at why successful people fail at love and what you can do about it.
Why Do Some People Never Grow or Change?
We all know that person—that one individual who refuses to change their destructive ways, even when it’s obvious to everyone else how much better their life could be if they did.
Then, there’s that person whose life looks exactly the same now as it did 20 years ago. Sure, they’re driving a different car (same make and model, just newer version) and they have a few more wrinkles on their face, but everything else is the same.
Growth and change are what makes life exciting and fun, but it can also be really terrifying.
So, why do some people never seem to grow or change?
Here are some of the most common reasons people stay stuck.
The Relationship Advice That No One Gave Us
What kind of relationship advice were you given?
Most of us were not taught anything, and others received really, just… bad advice.
Women especially got an extensive list of how to be desirable to a man—as if the goal is to just snag any Tom, Dick or Harry that showed even the slightest smidgen of interest—oh joy!
Honestly, when it comes to relationships, most people are like a litter of puppies, sweet and innocent with their lack of awareness, nosing around with their eyes sealed shut, moved by instinct yet completely unaware of what is really going on.
Here’s the advice we should have been told about relationships—advice you’re never too old to learn.
What if a Struggling Couple Doesn’t Go to Therapy?
If you feel like your relationship is falling apart you have two choices: The first is to ignore what’s happening, cross your fingers and hope it gets better.
The second is to go to couple’s counseling.
These decisions are not created equally, however. One leads to a much better outcome than the other. Here’s what happens if your relationship is falling apart… and you choose to do nothing.
Why Therapy Over Summer Vacation is Best for Your Child
Summer is the perfect time to get your child into therapy. If your kiddo is struggling, or if your family life feels chaotic, the summer months are ideal for getting back on track. What better time than fall to turn over a new leaf and start the school year off on the right foot?
Remember, early intervention is key in preventing bigger problems down the road.
Here are some Tips to Help Your Child Be Open to Therapy Over the Summer
Managing the Different Parts of Us
We all face multiple decisions throughout the day: Go for a run, or plop on the couch with popcorn and the remote instead? Eat the leftovers in the fridge, or slide through the In-N-Out drive thru? Order an Americano, or get that Caramel Frappuccino?
And, in those moments, regardless of what you choose (or how you end up bribing yourself), there’s a very opinionated and vocal committee involved in the decision-making process.
You may hear the voice of your mom, who always criticized your weight. Your five-year-old self who didn’t get her needs met as a child appears, and is adamant about her sugar fix. Then, there’s that person you aspire to be who is appalled at all the ways you’ve been falling short recently.
Honestly? Tussling, appeasing, and trying to negotiate with the inner committee is exhausting.
Here are some ways to sort through the internal noise …without totally wearing yourself out.
After the Affair: The Danger of Not Seeking Therapy
An affair leaves one person on a rollercoaster, cycling from being too angry to talk one moment to then just wanting to know, WHY?!
And the other person? They likely feel deeply ashamed—filled with self-hatred and regret—as they stand on the precipice of losing everything.
Yes, affairs are a colossal breach of trust. But… if you’re wondering if there’s a possibility your relationship can recover from this, it can.
Here are some of the ways (backed up by statistics) that seeking marital or couples counseling after an affair can help save your union.
How to Find a Great Couples Therapist in Roseville
We all know that seeing a couples counselor is the way to go when your relationship is rocky. However, there’s more to it than that: all therapists are not created equal, and it’s important to find someone you mesh with—someone you both feel comfortable around, and perhaps most important of all, someone who knows what they’re doing.
Here are some tips on finding a couples counselor in Roseville California—or anywhere really.
The Difference Between a Therapist and a Life Coach
There is a colossal difference between a therapist and a life coach, yet it’s easy to still confuse the two. Life coaches are everywhere, promising to help you get out of a rut and grow into the person you were meant to become.
As tempting as this sounds, if you’re struggling mentally, choosing a life coach instead of a therapist can actually do more harm than good.
Let’s take a closer look at the difference between the two.
Are You a Fixer?
If you’re a fixer, here’s the brutal truth: You’re missing the real issue.
Though society holds people with seeming selfless tendencies to a high esteem, the reality is that people who devote all their energy in efforts to fix and control others tend to be codependent. They’re often driven to partake in this type of behavior as a result of unresolved wounds.
Here, we’ll take a look at some of the reasons why people gravitate towards being fixers—what they’re actually trying to accomplish when they become overly involved in the behavior of others—and if you’re a fixer, what you can do instead.
Master Resilience: Bounce Back Well
Our emotional state plays a big part in the human experience.
When life is good and things are going well, we often feel invincible.
Then the pendulum swings the other way. Something happens – perhaps there’s a loss of some sort – and everything feels flat. Those old feelings of sadness, worthlessness or shame bubble back up to the surface and small tasks and decisions feel overwhelming… you’d rather stay in bed.
While there’s no way to truly eliminate the hard parts of life, there are some tricks you can use to help lessen the sting.
This piece is dedicated to learning how to master resilience: what it is, why it’s so important, and examples of how to use resilience to bounce back.
Reach out to start your healing journey today