Blog
How to Find a Great Couples Therapist in Roseville
We all know that seeing a couples counselor is the way to go when your relationship is rocky. However, there’s more to it than that: all therapists are not created equal, and it’s important to find someone you mesh with—someone you both feel comfortable around, and perhaps most important of all, someone who knows what they’re doing.
Here are some tips on finding a couples counselor in Roseville California—or anywhere really.
The Difference Between a Therapist and a Life Coach
There is a colossal difference between a therapist and a life coach, yet it’s easy to still confuse the two. Life coaches are everywhere, promising to help you get out of a rut and grow into the person you were meant to become.
As tempting as this sounds, if you’re struggling mentally, choosing a life coach instead of a therapist can actually do more harm than good.
Let’s take a closer look at the difference between the two.
Are You a Fixer?
If you’re a fixer, here’s the brutal truth: You’re missing the real issue.
Though society holds people with seeming selfless tendencies to a high esteem, the reality is that people who devote all their energy in efforts to fix and control others tend to be codependent. They’re often driven to partake in this type of behavior as a result of unresolved wounds.
Here, we’ll take a look at some of the reasons why people gravitate towards being fixers—what they’re actually trying to accomplish when they become overly involved in the behavior of others—and if you’re a fixer, what you can do instead.
Master Resilience: Bounce Back Well
Our emotional state plays a big part in the human experience.
When life is good and things are going well, we often feel invincible.
Then the pendulum swings the other way. Something happens – perhaps there’s a loss of some sort – and everything feels flat. Those old feelings of sadness, worthlessness or shame bubble back up to the surface and small tasks and decisions feel overwhelming… you’d rather stay in bed.
While there’s no way to truly eliminate the hard parts of life, there are some tricks you can use to help lessen the sting.
This piece is dedicated to learning how to master resilience: what it is, why it’s so important, and examples of how to use resilience to bounce back.
Keep Your Kids Engaged This Summer
While it’s important that kids get a chance to decompress over the summer months, it’s crucial they don’t spend the entire time behind a screen.
Yet, since most parents don’t get summer vacations along with their kids, it can become a challenge to ensure they remain engaged.
Here are some ideas on ways to keep your kids active and involved over the summer, ideas that will have a positive impact.
Improve Your Relationship: Understanding Bids for Connection
You may be surprised to know that most communication is non-verbal, and when it is verbal, often, it’s indirect: Most people aren’t great at asking for what they want.
This is why understanding a bid for connection is so, so, important.
A bid for what, exactly? You may be asking, what are you talking about?
Here. Let’s take a look.
Simple Meaningful Mother’s Day Gifts
The best Mother’s Day gifts are so exclusive, so unique, that you can’t get them on Amazon or anywhere else.
These cherished items are things that move mothers to tears. And while it may sound like they come with a hefty price tag they don’t—far from it.
The gifts we’re talking about here are things that come straight from the heart.
For those looking for ideas on what to create with the kids this Mother’s Day, check out these Mother’s Day gift ideas she’ll love.
How To Improve Family Life
Sometimes family life feels like sheer survival mode: You’re exhausted, barely hanging on as you try to keep everyone alive so they can show up for that seemingly never-ending list of obligations.
Day after day, commitment after commitment.
To make it even more challenging, one of your kids is struggling and you’re not sure what to do.
Instead, you catch yourself fantasizing of going somewhere quiet for a week—without kids—and… sleeping. Imagine, never changing out of high waisted PJ’s or even putting on a bra!
If you feel like you’re white-knuckling family life, this is a good indication it could use some readjusting.
These tips will help you catch your breath, and provide some much-needed peace.
At Relationship Therapy we understand this, and have helped families get through all sorts of challenges.
How To Master the Art of Asking for What You Want
It’s been a rough week. You’re unsure about the future of your new position—there are rumblings of budget cuts—and some are worried about being let go.
I’ll get a pizza and a bottle of wine on the way home, you think, it’ll be a nice cozy evening with my boyfriend where I can share some of my worries about the craziness that’s been going on.
As if on cue, your phone buzzes.
Hey, the text reads, I’m going to go out with the guys after work… should be home around 9pm or so.
You feel heat flush over you.
Do you ask for what you want—share how you feel—or do you just let it go?
Here are some ideas and resources for asking for what you want and how couples’ therapy can help.
What To Do If Your Spouse Won’t Go To Couples Therapy
You’ve tried, lord have you tried! The answer is either a hard “no,” or it’s some other vague excuse.
The fact is, women tend to be much more open to the prospect of couples counseling than men. So, what should you do when you know your relationship is becoming stagnant—or worse, it’s in danger of falling apart—yet your other half has no interest in couples counseling?
As we all know, in relationships, compromise is key.
Here are some ideas and resources that may help if your spouse refuses to go to couples’ therapy.
Your Guide to Requests, Boundaries, and Threats
Asserting your needs in a relationship can feel so challenging that often, people just don’t.
Or, they’ll ask for what they want, but never enforce any type of consequence or set a boundary when their request is dismissed.
Distinguishing the difference between requests, boundaries and threats is extremely important for anyone in a relationship, and it’s imperative that you understand when (and why!) to implement each.
Have You Done the Inner Work Required for a Great Marriage?
Many of us are aware of the foundation of a happy marriage, and will pinpoint the fundamentals required. There’s trust, communication, love and respect…but… what is the foundation of those things? Like, how do you get good at them?
Here’s the secret: you’ve got to do the work.
Let’s take a look at some of the inner ways of being that can agitate a relationship if they’re not healed first.
Why is Anxiety So Common?
Suffer from anxiety? You’re not alone. In the USA about one-third of the population will experience an anxiety disorder at some point, making it one of the most common mental health diagnoses currently.
The obvious next question then is, why? What’s causing this anxious uptick, and what—if anything—can be done about it?
Let’s take a look.
What do Couples Really Fight About?
Do you ever have a moment—mid argument—where you catch a glimpse of clarity and think, what are we doing? What are we even fighting about?
If so, here’s the real shocker: Frequent spats often have little to nothing to do with the subject of the argument. Rather, they’re an indication there’s something deeper going on.
Here’s a brief rundown of common issues that result in arguments…
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
Can you guess the main reason couples who’d benefit from therapy never go?
The answer is, fear.
Fear of being vulnerable, fear of opening up, fear of the unknown, the list goes on and on.
Now, fear is a worthy excuse. However, the cost of skipping therapy due to being afraid usually doesn’t yield the best outcome.
Couples therapy is powerful, and can revive your relationship. If you’re still a little unsure, here’s what you can expect when you and your partner sign up for relationship advice.
Reach out to start your healing journey today