When falling in love, everything is exciting. You’re a kid in a candy store of dopamine, oxytocin, butterflies, and anticipation. A new relationship makes you feel so alive, and the best part about it is these feelings simply occur.
Then life happens. Your brain returns to its pre-relationship state. And if you’re not careful, your relationship begins to resemble an expired loaf of bread: It grows stale.
Unfortunately, there’s hardly any guidance about how to navigate a relationship after the initial excitement starts to fade.
How many relationships that could have been wonderful unions crumble, because neither person was aware of the fundamentals required to keep it strong and healthy?
How many people currently exist in relationships that they’re dissatisfied with, yet have no idea how to revive them?
No matter where you are in your relationship, here’s something everyone could use:
A little education on the importance of creativity and novelty in relationships, and some inspiring ideas on how to welcome it into yours.
A Boring Relationship
Routine. Predictable. Lackluster… Those are words that shouldn’t be part of a relationship, yet often are.
The decline can happen without either party really noticing. For many of us, being an adult means being busy. All. The. Time.
With so many obligations, the health of a relationship often gets neglected. When partners get caught up in all their obligations and carve out any time together, the distance between them grows. As that chasm widens, it can feel almost awkward or uncomfortable to try and bridge it with any kind of closeness.
The Importance of Introducing Creativity and Novelty into Your Relationship
We all know the value of being present in life, and experiencing something new and exciting is one of the best ways to anchor yourself in the moment.
Just like life, a relationship is nourished by feeding it new adventures, experiences, and skills. They open you up to new possibilities, ideas and insights. They shake you up a little bit—add a shimmer or sparkle to the routine.
These new experiences also give you and your partner something new to talk about. Something to get excited about as a couple, something you can bond over and share. These new experiences enhance your communication and capacity to trust one another. If someone is unexpectedly challenged by something, their partner gets an opportunity to talk them through it, supporting and encouraging them all the way.
Making time for “fun” is one of the best ways of getting a little respite from the routine and the day-to-day stressors that weigh so many people down.
Simple Ways to Incorporate Creativity and Novelty into Your Relationship
Ok. Now that you know the importance of bringing creativity and novelty into your relationship, here are a bunch of ideas broken down into categories to help get you started.
In the Bedroom:
- Focus on finding closeness, without sex
- Take turns giving each other a massage
- Play a game
- Book a hotel room in your hometown
- Talk about some of the favorite intimate moments the two of you have shared
- Share a six second kiss… and see what happens next
The goal is to reestablish intimacy and have fun. If you haven’t been intimate for a while, this may feel awkward—even uncomfortable. Start slow, and don’t put too much pressure or expectation onto how you think it should go.
You also may want to consider therapy, an excellent resource. If you live in Northern California, we offer couples counseling in Fair Oaks and Roseville. To learn more about what we do and how couples counseling can help, we’re just a phone call away.
In Your City:
- Take a class together such as a cooking or pottery class
- Explore! Go for a walk, rent bikes… be spontaneous
- Try a new restaurant
- Go bowling or play miniature golf
- Take the train somewhere new
- Volunteer together
In Nature:
- Go camping
- Go for a hike
- Pack a picnic of all your favorite foods and enjoy them sitting in a park, near a river, or by a lake
- Take a guided hike, and learn more about local history and natural resources
At Home:
- Embark on a DIY project together: build something or start a garden
- Read a book together
- Pinpoint something exciting you want to do together, and work to make it happen
- Play a game
- Cook a nice meal together
- Address something that’s been stressing you out, and work together to find a solution
Think about things you like: how can you incorporate them into your relationship and share them with your partner?
What are some things they enjoy that they could share with you?
It’s surprising what happens when you integrate novelty and creativity into a relationship. You may begin to feel closer and more connected—a wonderful place to be.
You may also discover that the old habits you used to indulge in out of boredom—such as excessive shopping, TV watching, and other common methods people use to escape—may start to lose some of their appeal.
For those who feel as though their relationship is in trouble and could benefit from the help of an expert, couples counseling is the way to go. At the Relationship Therapy Center, we’re here for you wherever you are in life. All you have to do is give us a call.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.