Your therapist appears concerned, concentrating deeply on what you’re saying. Her brow’s slightly furrowed and her face unflinching as she takes in the full magnitude of what you’re revealing. You’ve never opened up like this before – you’ve never been this articulate either – and you can’t wait for her response.
You finish your sentence and your therapist remains still. She doesn’t move – not even a blink.
That’s when you realize: the screen is frozen.
Did she catch any of what you shared?
Therapy Over Zoom
There’s no doubt about it: Zoom was a lifesaving outlet throughout the pandemic. Yet as soon as restrictions were lifted, most people couldn’t wait to return to the real thing.
Despite the convenience factor, a two-dimensional pixelated face over a screen is no match for real-life face-to-face interaction, and many people knew something was missing – they felt the gap in connection, and craved in-person community.
In an era of busyness and hectic schedules, it may be tempting to opt out of in-person sessions and instead embark on sessions via a screen, from the convenience of your home. However, if you choose this route, you may be at a slight disadvantage. Here’s what you’re missing out on:
The Therapeutic Container
Your therapist’s office is not your home. Your kids are not going to barge in, and none of your family members are lurking within earshot. There’s no pile of laundry there on the couch beside you distracting you with feelings of urgency of everything you need to attend to. You also don’t have to vacuum or clean your therapist’s office – none of that.
Rather, your therapist’s office is a place where you can just be. It’s a safe environment where you’re free to open up, unencumbered by distractions or technological malfunctions. It’s almost sacred in that it exists purely as a canvas where you’re able to tap in and reveal yourself – your struggles – whatever you need.
You don’t have to do anything to that space or in that space, besides just look inward.
The Nuance of Communication
Most communication between humans is non-verbal. It’s expressed through body language – a twitching leg, fidgeting hands – subtle shifts and indicators which are undetectable over a computer screen. Environmental distractions coupled with not actually being in the same environment – the same room – drives a wedge between communication.
A therapeutic relationship is one that invites trust, and it is hard to establish a trusting relationship – especially if you’ve never met in person – when all you have is someone’s head and shoulders. You’re missing crucial information that human beings are biologically programmed to use in order to determine whether or not someone is trustworthy.
The Care and Connection
A therapist holds space for you. When overcome by deep sadness or grief, having someone there to offer a tissue – to simply be there with you – is tremendously powerful and comforting. No matter how long you’ve seen your therapist. No matter how much time you’ve spent in person, or how much you already trust them. This type of deep, vital, human-to-human care is just not replicable over a screen.
Getting Out of the House
For people who are gripped in depression and anxiety, getting out of the house and going somewhere where they’re safe, heard, and supported, is huge.
Life reinforces this message, reminding us over and over: the easy way isn’t always the best way.
Of course, if sessions over Zoom are all that’s available, it’s definitely better than nothing at all. It’s just important to note, when the option’s available, nothing beats the real thing.
At the Relationship Therapy Center, we provide both virtual and in person sessions, but are strong proponents for face-to-face sessions whenever possible. We are open 7 days a week to help accommodate busy schedules, and have two convenient Northern California locations where we provide therapy: Roseville and Fair Oaks.
Curiously to learn more? Give us a call, and discover how we can help.