How to Nurture Healthy RelationshipsHappily ever after. That’s the dream, the end-all-be-all goal of any romantic relationship. The underlying message seems to be that if you’re lucky enough to find the right person—your soulmate—it happens naturally. All you have to do is… nothing.

Let’s have a moment of silence, shall we? For the people who enter into relationships with this belief. 

…And for everyone else, here are some tips on how to nurture healthy relationships so that you actually do get to experience the joys of happily ever after.

1.  Communicate and Be Present

One of the most powerful things you can do in a relationship is be present with one another. We live in a world where distractions abound—it’s waaaaay too easy to check out mentally, and hide behind a screen. 

Unfortunately, this has not shown to help relationships at all—including your relationship to self. 

Through presence, you become more attuned to what is. You’re able to share how you feel, what you need, how things are going, what you’re looking forward to. You also get to listen and be there for your partner as they do the same. 

Regular supportive open and honest communication is the secret sauce, the hack, the magic pill, the wand… it’s everything in a relationship. 

2.  Be Vulnerable

Unfortunately, many people still mistakenly equate vulnerability with weakness. 

In relationships this often presents as pretending everything’s fine when inside, you’re seething. It can involve copious amounts of rug-sweeping, resentment, and generally when someone in a relationship isn’t showing up as their full authentic self, it erodes the integrity of the union allowing the whole thing to crumble.

Giving yourself permission to be vulnerable is quite powerful and liberating. One of the best ways to nurture any relationship is to show up as yourself, and create a space within your union that’s both safe and encourages and supports each individual in the relationship to explore their vulnerabilities. 

It not only brings you closer to your partner, it also gives you deeper insight into yourself and life in general. 

3.  Share How You’re Feeling 

In recent years, we’ve made a huge discovery: our partners are not mind readers. 

Make a habit to share how you’re feeling.All jokes aside, in some form or another this idea that still prevails, if they really loved me, they would know better than to have chosen a night out with friends instead of…

It’s crucial you share how you’re actually feeling. 

All of us are colored with different life experiences and different ways of interpreting them. The only way to get your partner to know what yours are is through communication.

If you have a stressful week coming up, tell your spouse. Let them know you will likely really need some extra support. Oftentimes, people assume their partner will just get it, and when they don’t, they end up hurt and disappointed on top of being stressed.

4.  Support One Another

If your boyfriend has a busy stressful week ahead, let him know you’re here for him. You’re willing to take on some of his responsibilities, if appropriate. 

If you’re worried about something, or just generally feeling blah, let your partner know. Oftentimes couples who only communicate when “necessary,” will lash out at their partner when they’re stressed. Catching their other half completely off guard because they had no inkling about their spouses inner life.

Supporting one another begins with, you guessed it. Communicating. Make a habit to share how you’re feeling. What are you worried about? What are you looking forward to? What do you need?

How about your loved one? How can you support them?

Identifying your worries and stresses and actually talking about them is sometimes all that’s needed to diffuse them somewhat. Plus, it’s empowering to have a partner at your side, encouraging and supporting you unconditionally. 

Don’t forget, you’re on the same team.

5.  Have Fun Together

So simple, yet so easily dismissed. When compiling a list of words commonly associated with being an adult, ‘fun’ usually isn’t usually included. 

Unacceptable, right? 

Mix up the routine and go  do something fun!Make a point to revisit wonder, curiosity, novelty. Grab your significant other, mix up the routine and go do something fun!

If it feels like your connection is slipping—or it slipped a long time ago and you desperately need help—couple’s counseling is your best course of action. It’s truly one of the most valuable resources available to reach that elusive fairytale happily after. And if the relationship is beyond repair, it’s an excellent way to regroup and learn what you need from a significant other.

At the Relationship Therapy Center, we offer both individual counseling and couples counseling in Fair Oaks and Roseville. If you’re going through a rough patch, please. Reach out to us. We’d love to hear what you’re going through, and share more about how we can help. 

Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:

If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:

  1. Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
  2. Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
  3. Find support and healing in your relationship!

Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.