Made a wrong turn? The quicker you realize that and course correct, the less likely you are to get lost. Most of us know this, yet there’s one place that many do not apply it. If you guessed relationships, you guessed right.
We all know the abysmal stats on the divorce rate in this country. So why isn’t more being done about it?
A relationship of any kind takes effort, and marriage is no different. The best way to avoid divorce and actually enjoy your union is, don’t wait too long to try and save it!
Here are some of the early warning signs your relationship could be heading toward divorce, and what you can do now—yes, right now—to prevent that from happening.
You’re Disconnected
Disconnect doesn’t happen immediately, which can make it harder to spot. Think back to the beginning of the relationship: how connected and in-tune with one another did you feel then, vs. how you feel now?
If you’re disconnected, that needs to be addressed. The longer you and your partner remain this way, the more damaging it can be to your relationship.
You Argue About Everything… or You Never Argue at All
We all know that couple. Two genuinely pleasant people, yet when they’re together they bicker and argue. All. The. Time. Chronic arguments can lead to resentment, and are just…unpleasant.
Lack of arguing—and this doesn’t mean screaming or fighting, it’s meant here as more of a disagreement—can also be a warning sign. It can mean that one or both of you just aren’t as invested in each other and the relationship. Perhaps you don’t really care if you’re heard by your partner, or you communicate so infrequently that there’s nothing to discuss.
You Feel Like Roommates
It can be challenging when you’re fond of your partner, you’re cohabitating with them fine, but you’re just not into them in that way anymore.
If you feel your relationship could be heading in the roommate direction, you need to address it. Stat.
There’s Resentment
According to Dr. Gottman, resentment is one of the key indicators you’re heading for a divorce. Once resentment has taken root, it can be extremely challenging to eradicate. Make sure you don’t let it build. If you feel any resentment toward your spouse, this needs to be discussed.
You Don’t Communicate
Communication is one of the pillars that define a relationship. It’s a fundamentally necessary aspect. If you hardly ever communicate, or if you don’t communicate well, this isn’t something that’s going to solve itself.
You’re Just Not Interested
Often, losing interest in a partner occurs after a span of disconnect, lack of communication, and some of the other less obvious signs the relationship is in trouble. You may not realize you’ve lost interest, and it’s something you need to be honest and upfront with yourself about.
It can be addressed and remedied sometimes in conjunction with other issues as they’re addressed.
There’s Stonewalling
Stonewalling is defined as you or your partner shutting down, or refusing to communicate about certain things. According to Dr. Gottman, this is another indication that divorce could be just over the horizon.
There Are Big Financial Disagreements
Money after all is one of the leading causes of divorce.
You’re No Longer Intimate
A relationship is consummated through intimacy. It’s a distinct and integral aspect of your union. While a lack of intimacy usually indicates other problems, it is a critically important part of any romantic relationship.
You Find Yourself Developing Crushes on Other People
This may be an indication that you’re not being fulfilled in the ways that you need in your current relationship. Maybe your partner doesn’t make you feel attractive, doesn’t listen to you, or you feel disconnected. This can lead you to subconsciously seek validation from others, which usually manifests as little “harmless” crushes.
While it may seem like it’s not that big of a deal, use it as proof that something’s missing in your current relationship, and do something about it before it’s too late.
What These Issues All Have in Common
These are some of the common issues that can erode a relationship overtime, if left unchecked and undealt with, however there are many more. And what do all of them have in common?
They’re all solvable. These are some of the many issues couples counseling helps resolve. Many people view relationship counseling as a last resort, or something for people with highly dysfunctional marriages. The truth is, it’s something every couple could benefit from. It can be the difference between a good relationship and a great relationship, taking something that’s working, and elevating it to something magnificent.
As human beings, we all want to be seen and heard, and through couples counseling a therapist can help maximize that. This is done through fine-tuning communication, and teaching strategies that lead to a lasting fulfilling relationship.
If your marriage has lost its spark, rediscover what it’s like to actually want your partner again. Rekindle that excitement and reignite the love. Give us a call, and learn more about how we can help.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin marriage counseling in Roseville, CA area, or marriage counseling in Fair Oaks, please follow these three simple steps:
- Contact our counseling office to get more information about couples counseling and to schedule a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with one of our Gottman Method trained therapists.
- Find support and healing in your relationship!
Other Services Offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include: Counseling after infidelity, sex therapy, co-parent counseling, family therapy, divorce counseling, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. Our individual therapy services include, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, teen therapy, therapy for children, codependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Please contact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.