If you are getting married soon, you’ve probably reserved your venue, picked out your dress, hashed out the seating chart and bought rings. In the midst of this frenzy to have the perfect wedding, you might not be focused on what is really important — building a solid foundation for the future.
Creating a happy, lasting relationship should be something that you are focused on right from the start. The way to do that is through premarital counseling. Maybe you think that premarital counseling a waste of time. You could be thinking “do we really need counseling if we are not having a religious ceremony?” The answer is a resounding yes!
Premarital counseling from a couples therapist can help you strengthen your bond for the long road ahead. However, many couples are reluctant to participate in premarital counseling. Some people believe that it isn’t important. Many people have a distorted view of relationships based on modern TV shows. There is the idea that a good relationship happens naturally. The couple meets falls in love and everything then falls perfectly into place. This only happens in fairy tales, which is why premarital counseling should be at the top of every wedding checklist. Need more reasons to talk to a relationship counselor? Here are a few.
It Will Help You Define Expectations
Many couples don’t talk about their expectations early on because of the fear of rejection. You might be afraid if you tell your partner what you want out of a relationship, she will not accept you. She may analyze your text messages to try to guess at what you want. This just creates insecurity, frustration, and stress. When you are not on the same page, it can create a very dissatisfying relationship. A premarital counselor will help you identify your expectations and come up with a way to compromise on things that you differ on. What if you cannot reach a compromise? If your expectations are very different, then, in that case, knowing about it before you get married can help you avoid energy, time and heartache down the road. A couples’ counselor can also help you cope with the loss if things will not work out.
You’ll Learn How To Handle Conflict
Conflict is one of the biggest reasons why couples divorce. Many people use counterproductive and damaging strategies used to handle conflict in a relationship. Examples of these include stonewalling, criticism, defensiveness and blaming.
Premarital counseling can give you the skills that you need to better deal with issues in your relationship and have more productive conversations.
You’ll Learn How To Communicate About Touchy Issues
Communication about money and sex can be very hard for couples. It can feel taboo or embarrassing to talk about these issues. The problem is that many couples don’t agree on sex and money. And, issues surrounding these topics can’t be worked out if you do not talk about them. Eventually, the differences could be too much for the relationship to bear — especially if you are not actively trying to work on solving these problems. A couples’ therapist can help you discuss topics like these and learn how to work out solutions for things you don’t agree on.
Call today to help you get your relationship off to a great start. 916-426-2757
Jennifer Hagar, LMFT