If you’re like most people, at one time or another, you’ve probably found yourself wondering, ” What exactly is sex therapy?

Well, like other more traditional forms of psychotherapy, it is “talk only”. The difference is that sex therapy is specifically focused on helping couples or individuals overcome sexual difficulties. The reasons you might seek sex therapy are many and varied. It could be anything from communication issues, performance anxiety, inability to reach orgasm, infidelity, aging, and/or different libidos.

Two factors determine if sex therapy is right for you.

One, if there are lasting sexual difficulties in your relationship (or the individual’s sex life), and two, if both partners are willing to seek help.

The first step of this journey is finding the right therapist. Be sure whoever you select is not only licensed but also specifically trained in sex therapy. It is also important that both partners feel comfortable working with them. Likely, you won’t have forward momentum if one of you doesn’t feel comfortable with the therapist you choose.

Keep in mind, it is completely normal to feel nervous about going.

Most people aren’t comfortable talking about sex with their own partners, let alone with a complete stranger, so you may feel anxious at first. But fear not, sex therapists are trained professionals. They understand that this is a new and uncomfortable experience for most people and will do their best to put you at ease.

Generally, if you are seeking sex therapy as a couple (which, for the rest of this article, we will assume you are doing), expect to attend your first session together. Following that, each of you will likely meet with the therapist individually. This way, you will gain a comprehensive understanding of the relationship from all perspectives. The goal is to make both partners feel seen, heard, and understood.

A few topics that are likely to come up:

• Your history as a couple, as well as each of your sexual pasts

• Sexual beliefs and values

• Communication in the relationship

• Things that may be causing sexual problems, such as pain, trauma, desire, and/or orgasm

• The specific sexual concern that brought you to their office

During the first session, it is usual for the therapist to create a treatment plan, which means you expect to be back for multiple sessions. How long you need sex therapy will depend on you as a couple and the core issues at play. However, there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

The goal is to help you move through sexual issues in order to have a fulfilling relationship and pleasurable sex life. 

Expect to be assigned homework, something the two of you will be working on alone and at home. Homework will be practical and educational and will require time and energy outside of therapy sessions. Examples are communication and behavioral exercises, experimentation with different ways of touching each other (with or without sex).

There will never be any sexual behavior or touching during a session.

Again, a sex therapist will never touch you or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Instead, they will guide both partners to identify, understand, and resolve the core issues of their sexual problem(s). Whether that be fear, communication, or resentment, among many others.

Sex therapy is appropriate for anyone and everyone! Humans are sexual in nature, and with our sexuality comes stories and complicated histories. This type of therapy can help individuals and couples heal from sexual traumas, resolve sexual dysfunctions, and open up to greater sexual experiences.

Attending sex therapy can help you understand and resolve old wounds and past traumas, as well as grow and expand sexually. This type of therapy aims to help you unionize your mind and body, enabling you to become more embodied and therefore more connected to your own and your partner’s sexuality. The only requirement is full and complete honesty and a willingness to show up.

Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:

In addition to online therapy, Our Sacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. At the moment, all our therapy services are being offered online to comply with social distancing and the stay-in-place order issued by the state of California. We will discuss the importance of self-care and emotional support to help you cope with overcoming sexual difficulties in your relationship.

Couples therapy for sexual difficulties can be beneficial, with the right therapist. Our compassionate therapists are trained to walk you through the process to help you find healing and peace. Please contact our therapy office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones heal, grow, and love well.