No matter what your job entails, making time for one another is essential to maintaining your relationship.
For some women and men who own their own business or are in the upper echelon of a company, we are busy. Seemingly all of the time. And then some. We want to succeed in our jobs, support our family and ourselves, get to school events, networking events, family events. Oh, and yourself. We try not to forget a single thing. Is business going well? Check. Maintaining a position that has been worked for? Check. Meeting expectations for your family as a whole? Check. And the list goes on. But there is a nagging feeling, that feeling that you get on the ride to your office or as you are firing up your computer to start your day. Suddenly, in the middle of a meeting with your associates or meeting with a new client at a networking event, it hits you. Square in the jaw. Right in the pit of your stomach. You realize that there are two things that you are forgetting to put your energy into. Your marriage and your spouse.
They say that maintaining a solid relationship takes making time (at least a little bit) each day for one another. For you both as a couple. And it does not have to be a date night out or a weekend trip away, just the two of you (although that is nice). It can be something as simple and meaningful as a phone call during the day, just to let them know you are thinking about them. An extra long hug goodbye in the morning or in the evening. Yet for some couples, the distance between them is long past a date night and further away than the length between your arms. So if you reach out and there is no-one there reaching back to you, it may be time to consider couples counseling. A qualified therapist can do wonders to help you both continue to succeed individually yet still grow and thrive together.
Much like working, relationships take nurturing in order to succeed. Your therapist of choice will teach you how to do just that. We often think our spouse is moving along with you when instead, you are really drifting further apart. Agan, your therapist should help you to identify the sources of when and where your issues are stemming from. Often times, you may find that your problems go deeper than you think or even want to imagine. Other times you may find that what you consider to be sticking points are easily addressed and fixed. Regardless, your therapist should be able to assist you in mapping out a plan with goals that you feel are realistic to achieve. And don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist to help you with how to reconnect with your spouse. If you both are at stalemate with one another, being the one to address and acknowledge that there are problems shows strength. Remember, there is strength in unity.
In the fast-paced world that we live in, unity nurtures commitment. And at the end of the day, when you look in the mirror, remember the wise words the Beatles sang, that will always ring true- Love is all you need.
Jennifer Hagar, LMFT specializes in life transitions, including betrayals and trust issues in relationships, the challenges of having a blended family, going through a divorce and coparenting, as well as difficulties couples face in communication and conflict resolution. She also helps individuals facing difficulties with anxiety, depression, grief, and substance abuse with compassion, understanding, solutions and hope.