If you are planning your wedding, probably envision you and your spouse living happily ever after. With the excitement of a wedding, it is hard to imagine anything else. However, once the excitement wears off, you realize that marriage is far more difficult than you had imagined. sharing your life with another person can be a challenge. Marriages take love, commitment and respect to work. A marriage based on these things doesn’t just happen. It is something that you have to build. To build a successful marriage, you must first know what things make up a happy marriage. Here are some important keys to make your marriage a lasting one.
Accept That Your Sex Life Will Change
A relationship will not be the same as it was when you first met. To keep the passion alive, you have to work at it. Expecting a relationship to stay the same without any work is not realistic. If you do not work at making your relationship, it will become stagnant. You have to find ways to keep the passion alive.
Communicate Communicate Communicate
We cannot stress this enough. One of the most important aspects of a relationship is communication. There will be challenging conversations. There is just no way around it. You must be able to talk with your spouse or partner about important things with respect. Conversations should be punctuated by civility and collaboration.
Understand That There Will Be Ups And Downs
Every relationship goes through tough times. Sometimes things will be great and other times, you may feel distant from or angry with your partner. You simply will not feel happy and connected all of the time. That is not realistic. You must learn to deal with the bumps in the road and hang in there despite the difficulties.
Be Willing To Compromise
Being able to compromise is important in any relationship. You have to know how to meet your partner’s needs while still meeting your needs. This involves finding a middle ground. To do that, you have to be willing to give a little and they will need to do the same. Communicate and compromise go hand-in-hand. When you communicate well in a relationship, you’ll find it easier to come to an agreement with your partner about important things.
Enjoy Each Other
Happy couples enjoy spending time together. They do things together and enjoy each other’s company. This does not mean that you cannot have other interests. In fact, it is healthy to have outside friendships and interests. However, if you spend more time apart than together, you simply will not be close.
Learn How To Fight
As a couple, you will argue with your spouse. That is just part of any healthy relationship. No two people agree on everything. Therefore, you have to learn how to solve conflict amicably. Some couples fight in a way that makes their relationships weaker and others fight in a way that makes it stronger. What is the difference? The couples that fight in a maladaptive way name-call, yell or nag their partner. Couples that fight in a skillful way think carefully about the words that they use to describe feelings. They learn how to solve agreements respectfully and come to a mutual compromise.
Go To Premarital Counseling
One of the best ways to develop a happy marriage is to participate in pre-marital counseling. Getting counseling before you get married can help you work on all of the above skills and build a happier, more successful marriage.
For more information about premarital counseling in Roseville, CA, Fair Oaks, CA or the surrounding areas, give us a call. 916-426-2757
Jennifer Hagar, LMFT
Jennifer Hagar, LMFT specializes in life transitions, including betrayals and trust issues in relationships, the challenges of having a blended family, going through a divorce and coparenting, as well as difficulties couples face in communication and conflict resolution. She also helps individuals facing difficulties with anxiety, depression, grief, and substance abuse with compassion, understanding, solutions and hope.
